12 signs you’re going through Social Menopause.

Just as some of the older women in my life have begun to exclaim of hot flushes (“Is it just me or is this room suddenly boiling?!”), I’ve noticed a change sweeping over the twenty-something women in my life.

Now in my late twenties, the very things I used to hold dear (like heading out until all hours partying and dancing until my cheap heels were worn through) are the things I now imagine I’d be forced to endure in an episode of Fear Factor.

All of a sudden a switch has been flicked and heading out to a new, inner-city bar that only serves tequila and popcorn fills me with anger.

According to Amelia Diamond, who wrote about this phenomenon for Man Repeller, my diagnosis is “Social Menopause”. Similar to actual menopause, my fertile years of having the stamina to endure speaking to others over loud music in bars are over. No, I’m not sad about it. Not even a tiny bit.

A photo posted by THE DAILY MARK (@thedailymark) on Jan 6, 2017 at 2:20am PST

Here are 12 signs you too are transitioning through Social Menopause. And no, there’s no amount of dong quai that’ll help you manage it…

1. When a friend texts you to cancel your dinner plans, you’re not angry, you’re inwardly cheering. Plus, your couch will be thrilled to spend a bit more time with you.

2. More than two drinks doesn’t make you want to have a big night, it just makes you sleepy.

3. You once attended every summer festival within a 100 kilometre radius, but now it’s inconceivable to you that anyone would part with actual money to endure mud, port-a-loos and uncomfortable, tight denim shorts.

Camping? At a festival? Those days are over.

4. When a friend tells you the only dinner reservation they could get is at 9pm, you have to restrain yourself from asking whether they checked if the 5:45pm sitting was still available.

5. Waiting in line for toilets or drinks now hurts every fibre of your being.

6. After 10:30pm you have to devote most of your brain power to trying not to yawn in the presence of others. (Post continues after gallery.)

7. You’ve now passed your once paltry shoe price threshold and care deeply when drinks are spilled on them.

8. The first thing you do upon entering a bar is check there’s seating available. No comfortable seat, no deal.

9. Being “too hot” or “too cold” at a venue is now a night-ending dealbreaker.

10. You’d prefer to be the designated driver than pay for a taxi at the end of the night. (Post continues after audio.)

11. The fear of a hangover is now strong enough to outweigh the fear of missing out on a fun night.

12. You’ve become the early Saturday morning jogger that pities the partiers coming home, rather than the other way around.

Are you going through social menopause?

To read more from Edwina Carr Barraclough, you can follow her on Facebook here.