'Look up'? How about you rack off.

I’m sick of being told to look up from my phone. I’m tired of social media posts mocking a supposed addiction to technology (shared without a hint of irony). The apps on my phone help me to be *more* social, writes Deirdre Fidge.

Life is what happens to you while you’re looking at your smartphone … or so says the graphic image that we see shared around Instagram, without a hint of self-awareness or irony.

“We share the best bits [online], but leave out the emotion,” the narrator of the incredibly popular Look Up short film tells us.

“We edit and exaggerate, crave adulation / we pretend not to notice the social isolation.”

Yes, I’m deeply sorry to say that the entire clip is a long poem; essentially a nightmarish first year Arts student’s idea of a social experiment-cum-creative non-fiction piece.

‘Look Up’ short film. Post continues below. 

This smug young man rhymes his way through telling us why phones are evil; how we are losing friends and feeling lonely. But are we all feeling this? Or is it just him, a pompous Dr Seuss for Millennials, and could it be because he spends all his time making arrogant videos for YouTube and shopping for boring sweaters? (Sorry – that was mean, I for one am a keen appreciator of a fine-knit woollen jumper.)

To be frank, I’m sick of being told to put down my phone. I’m tired of photo series that depict our alleged addiction to technology. I’m bored with people telling me that every time I use my mobile, I’m disconnecting with the world.

Recently, my Facebook feed was flooded with a photo taken back in 2014 at an art gallery of teenagers visiting a show featuring prominent works by Rembrandt. The post criticises the young people for focusing on their phones.

If there’s anything social media loves it’s a bloody good outrage, and let me tell you, some people really enjoyed lambasting these young people on that post for having the audacity to use their phones while at a gallery.

“Back in my day…” shouts the Baby Boomer, but we can’t hear him over the sound of his negative gearing profits.

How dare the youth enjoy a new game, or want to connect with a friend! How dare that person take a photo of themselves instead of hiding in shame and disgust at their own appearance! How dare people enjoy their lives in a way that is different to mine!

The truth is, this particular museum – the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam – has incredibly detailed multimedia tours, which require the downloading of an app to one’s phone. These teenagers were most likely using the app to plan their trip around the gallery, or to hear audio information about the pieces they are viewing.

But that doesn’t make for such an interesting story, does it? “Technology improves gallery experience and increases interaction with art.”

No, let’s go with: “Stupid teens play games on their iPhones because they hate culture.” There, that’s better.

It is argued that being on our phones is inherently anti-social; that we have created a generation of narcissistic, selfie-taking millennials who can’t put down their forks without tweeting about tonight’s dinner.

A recent study surveyed 1500 adults and 500 teenagers and found that actually, it was adults who were 70 per cent more likely to reach for the phone during dinner. Still, this was a study funded primarily to encourage families to turn their phones off during mealtimes and really engage, connect, share their darkest secrets, sing Kumbaya, and so on.

I find all of this anti-technology talk incredibly boring. Nobody is forcing you to use your phone, and if someone finds an app beneficial, or prefers messages to phone calls or love letters or faxes or carrier pigeons – what’s the harm?

If it weren’t for the several apps on my phone, I would be significantly more anti-social, because I spend a lot of time interacting with my friends via Facebook and Twitter. This isn’t because I’m a self-obsessed young adult (OK: I might be, I don’t know how all those selfies ended up on my camera roll), it’s because anxiety stops me from attending large social events and I prefer to communicate on my terms.

I genuinely love seeing big announcements shared on social media, with people I know who live interstate or overseas – or even around the corner. It’s much easier for them to announce their engagement/new job/birth of their third child Kexxlyn as a single post, than to call every one of their family members and friends. It makes me feel more social and connected: being a part of that exchange and being able to immediately pass on my congratulations.

Look around a crowded train or tram and yes, most folks will be on their phones. This is not a problem. I might be one of those pesky Millennials but I am still old enough to remember when the Fairfax newspaper was an enormous broadsheets and could easily accidentally smuggle a small elderly passenger just by flicking to page six. It’s far simpler now to scroll on a phone or tablet.

Mindfulness apps and tools to help people quit smoking or improve their health are constantly being downloaded and used. I often am out and about running errands and will reply to work emails on my phone. People might be Skyping with a sick relative. They might be checking world news to stay updated with the world. Even if someone is just mindlessly scrolling through social media – how does that affect you in any way?

I recently admired a colleague’s very fancy looking smartwatch, and she told me she bought it solely because her daughter is non-verbal and it allows them to communicate easier. Stop judging and preaching your disdain for useful technology that is constantly evolving to improve people’s experience with the world.

I’m living my life, I am fully engaged and socially connected, so for God’s sake – stop telling me to look up.

Deirdre Fidge is a Melbourne-based comedian, writer and social worker.

This post originally appeared on ABC News.

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