"Will a small wedding ruin my friendships?"

I’m worried how they will react if they don’t receive an invite.

I’ve been engaged for a while now, almost a year in fact, but there’s still something I’m struggling with when it comes to making one of the biggest decisions about our wedding.

Who do I invite and who can I cut?

My fiancé and I have decided a big showy shin-dig isn’t for us. We just aren’t those type of people at all.

But who can we cut? If we have it local and don’t invite some of our friends, will they be offended? If we have it away, how do we choose who we will invite to go with us?

We’ve done the numbers and if we invite JUST our immediately families: parents, grandparents, siblings, nieces and nephews, we are already sitting around the 40 mark. That’s before we’ve invited any extended family and friends at all.

It’s insane.

We don’t want a big wedding but if we chose to have a small wedding how do we explain to our friends they aren’t invited? So many people already assume they are invited.

To me a wedding is about two people not about the hundreds of relatives and friends they have.

But I know others don't feel the same as I do. To some a wedding is a group celebration and they think it is their right to attend. I have no idea why, I honestly don't get that, I'm marrying my partner not you.

I always said I'd never get involved in wedding politics but it seems the whole thing has been thrust upon me whether I like it or not.

I want to stand by belief that I will only invite those I want to my wedding. It's probably the only bridezilla-ish thing I care about.

But what happens when I have to decide which of our friends get an invite? And how do I explain it to some that they got the cut? And how do I not have the be offended and ruin our friendship?

My fiancé and I have been together eight years. We already have two kids and a house. For us the wedding isn't this big jump into the next phase of our lives as we start a family, we're already well and truly into the that phase of our lives.

Yes, we want to get married, we just don't want to make a big deal of it. I just hope our friends understand that.

Did you have a big wedding? Have you lost friendships over a wedding?

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