'My boyfriend stopped replying to my texts. It took weeks before I realised the cruel reason why.'

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Sophie* can't remember the exact moment her partner broke up with her. There was no one big moment, no great betrayal. The relationship was just there one minute, and gone the next.

"It wasn't like a real breakup," she said. "There was no fight. He didn't sit me down and say, 'We're done.' He just slowly disappeared while still being there."

At first, she put the changes down to a busy schedule.

"He stopped texting me first around March," she said. "I was always the one waiting for his messages. But I told myself it was normal. People get busy."

She didn't want to seem needy, so she didn't complain about it.

"I was so scared of being too needy that I stopped being myself," she recalled.

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By the following months, his communication when they weren't together became increasingly less.

"'Yeah.' 'Cool.' 'K.' That was it. I used to get whole stories from him," Sophie said.

When she finally asked if everything was okay, he said it was just work stress.

"I believed him because believing him meant I didn't have to face the truth."

Another month later and the emotional shift became harder to ignore. She was initiating every plan, while he cancelled repeatedly.

"I started trying harder. I picked nicer restaurants. I wore better outfits."

It's known as slow ghosting. As the name suggests, the process is slow. Often, you don't realise someone is leaving until they've already gone. Psychotherapist Julie Sweet says slow ghosting, also called "soft ghosting" or "slow fading", is when someone gradually withdraws, making the break ambiguous. "Responses become delayed, shorter, less engaged," she explained.

"Ambiguity replaces consistency."

Unlike a sudden ghost, slow ghosting stretches out the ending. There are crumbs, little signals of interest, just enough to keep hope alive.

"He still liked my Instagram posts," Sophie said. "Just enough so I could tell myself we weren't breaking up."

Sweet says this intermittent reinforcement can deepen attachment and confusion, a pattern seen clinically where clients describe slow ghosting as "death by a thousand cuts."

There's also a psychological reason this kind of withdrawal feels so destabilising, Sweet said. When endings aren't named, the nervous system stays activated, constantly scanning for reassurance, clarity or meaning. The uncertainty itself becomes a stressor.

Sophie remembers waiting for signs that he still cared. "I'd test it," she said. "I'd tell him something important and wait to see if he'd ask. He never did."

Sweet says slow ghosting is often rooted in avoidance rather than malice. "Many individuals who slow ghost struggle with conflict, tolerance, emotional repair, or fear of another's emotional response," she said. "Rather than naming their needs, they default to escape."

But even without intent, the emotional impact is real. Prolonged ambiguity can trigger anxiety, self-doubt, attachment wounds and grief. As Sweet notes, people subjected to slow ghosting often internalise the withdrawal as personal failure.

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After several months of slow ghosting, Sophie realised she'd been the only one holding the relationship together. "I was in love with a fantasy instead of the person who was actually leaving," she said.

"Technically, yes, we were still together. But he was basically already gone." Sweet says identifying the early signs is important, and includes reduced warmth, vague plans, delayed replies, and sudden emotional distance.

Trust your intuition when the "feel" of the relationship changes.

When Sophie finally told her partner that it was time they talked about the relationship, it came to a quick end.

"He'd already ended it months ago," she said. "The saddest part isn't that he left. It's that he never had the guts to actually say goodbye."

*Names has been changed to protect privacy.

Feature Image: Getty. (Stock image for illustrative purposes).