‘I was exhausted by parenting alone. Now my best mate and her two kids live with me.’

A few weeks ago, mum-of-three Amy had what she describes as a 'brain explosion' when she put out a TikTok about the challenges of single parenting.

"My best mate Elesha and I were having one of our regular phone chats about being at our wits-end," Amy tells Mamamia of parenting solo for five years.

"We both said how we feel constantly exhausted running around after our kids, and how as single parents, it just doesn't stop. 

"We had joked about living together before, but as Elesha's rent was about to go up by $200 per week, she was financially at breaking point. 

"That's when I suggested she and her two girls move in with me."

@dylandemure We have moved the date forward. Time to clear out the house. #fyp #housingcrisis #bestfriends #coparenting #australia #teenagersarehard #singlemum #community #fypシ ♬ original sound - Dylan D

Shift worker Amy rents the top floor of a six-bedroom Queenslander a few kilometres outside the city of Brisbane. 

"My eldest son has recently moved out to live with his girlfriend and so I have the space and everyone gets their own room! 

"Living together was always one of those things that we talked about after a few drinks but it's not considered 'normal'. God forbid you don't have a romantic partner as then the only traditional option is to do it all by yourself. And that's hard."

After the initial serious chat between Amy and Elesha, the next step was for both women to sit with their kids and get their opinion.

"Our girls have grown up together and are very close. They have been very excited about the move. I met Elesha at high school and we became inseparable besties almost immediately. She later dated my brother, and had her two girls with him, so our kids are actually first cousins. 

"They separated over nine years ago, however, and we will always have been best friends first."

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While Elesha and her two girls moved in just a few nights ago, things are already going well and having another adult in the house has many benefits.

"The financial savings are great, especially with the rental market the way it is at the moment. The fact is that neither of us individually will ever be able to buy a house, but this new arrangement could be a trial run for home ownership down the track.

"Other than the finance, it is so good to have another grown-up in the house who doesn't say, 'Mum, you're so cringe' at everything I suggest! I now have someone to eat salmon with and to decompress with after a stressful day at work. We can take turns cooking dinner and staying home with the kids while one of us goes to the gym or has an evening at the pub. 

"In the past, if I wanted to go out, I would have terrible mum guilt. But now, not only do I know Elesha is home but also my girls have their cousins to hang with too. I just feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

Amy says she knows that it won't be smooth sailing 24/7 and that she expects there might be some occasional challenges when you combine two households that are used to operating separately.

"I mean sure, there'll be dramas with four teenagers in the house. We both parent a little differently and are used to different rules about screen times and bedtimes but we have come up with some shared house rules. 

"The main rules are that Elesha and I will still parent our own kids BUT as the house adults, we both expect to be listened to. We have told the girls we're not here to serve them and that they still need to pick up after themselves.

"We are bulk cooking dinners but shopping for and organising our own breakfasts, school lunches and snacks.

"And look, if it doesn't work out, we'll call it a day. At least we tried!"

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In a month's time, the women's living arrangement will get even better when the tenants on the lower floor of their Queenslander move out and the two families will occupy the whole building.

"Until now I've been renting the top floor with six bedrooms and a lounge room. The real estate actually rang me last night and said that the four-bedroom unit on the bottom half of the house is about to be vacated and would we like it to which we said 'yes'!"

Amy reflects that while their situation is still deemed unusual, she says it's no different to many other types of blended families, except without the drama.

"The crazy thing is blended families and romantic partners move in together or buy property all the time and no one blinks an eye at that. Our situation is much better than that because it's not forced. Our kids are already friends, there is no resentment with new partners or step-parents to worry about."

Amy and Elesha 15 years ago. Image: Supplied.

When Amy's TikTok went viral (one of her clips has had over 1.3 million views in just a few days) she couldn't believe it. But she has had so many people reach out to say they would love to do the same. 

"From conversations I have had and the comments on my TikTok I can tell that women are tired. 

"They are tired of doing everything alone and they yearn for community. They realise they don't have to put up with sh***y husbands anymore. 

"There are other ways to do things and I am so happy people are looking at us and thinking that maybe our family solution could work for them too."

Amy says that, ultimately, she can't wait to see what happens next.

"Honestly, I can't remember the last time I was this excited about something. It is wonderful! 

"Both Elesha and I are at the same stage of life where our focus is all family, work and creating a safe and happy space for our kids and now we get to do it together. 

"You only live once and I am so stoked we're giving this a try."

To follow Amy and Elesha's journey co-parenting as mates, find Amy on TikTok as Dylan Demure.

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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