Over the weekend, I stumbled upon an online conversation about whether boys are underperforming in school because single mothers are unequipped to raise them.
As a single mother myself, I am intrigued by anything that pins a certain problem to a parent’s marital status, and this discussion was no different.
The discourse first appeared on a blog that belongs to Annie Murphy Paul, a columnist and learning consultant who reported on a University of Georgia and Columbia University study that says girls get better grades than boys because they show more “non-cognitive skills” like attentiveness, organization and persistence.
Her report triggered a lot of reactions, including a comment from a reader who identified himself only as “Coach.” Coach said that the real problem is too many single women are raising boys.
“Boys learn through physical contact and real-life scenarios,” he wrote. “Women are not equipped to cope with them on their own.”
Here’s a news flash: Nobody is equipped to raise sons. Or daughters, for that matter. Whether married or single, we all become parents wholly and thoroughly unequipped. As our babies grow, we embark on a never-ending crusade of matching questions with answers, of seeing the problems and setting out to find the solutions.
In other words, it’s not about being equipped. It’s about getting equipped.
I have a six-year-old daughter. Her father and I divorced when she was two, and I’ve had full custody of her ever since. Angie loves superheroes and sharks, and she would claw my eyes out if I ever asked her to wear something pink or sparkly.