DIARY OF A BIRTH: 'I was 38 and single. This is my story of becoming a mum on my own.'

When Bree Vare Lucas decided at 38 that she wanted to become a mother, with or without a partner, she never imagined her journey would include the extraordinary experience of delivering her own baby during a C-section.

Speaking to Mamamia's podcast Diary of a Birth, Bree opened up about her path to motherhood, from IVF challenges to what's known as a "maternal assisted C-section".

Listen to Bree's incredible story on Mamamia's Diary of a Birth. Post continues below.

From corporate workaholic to single mother by choice.

Before having her son Oscar, Bree described herself as "pretty much a workaholic", climbing the corporate ladder in HR within the retail industry.

"I was always someone who would do it for others and always put myself last," she told Diary of a Birth. "My love language is acts of service."

Despite her busy career, Bree had always known she wanted to be a mother.

"I said to myself that if it got to the time in my late 30s and I wasn't partnered up, that it would be something that I would do myself," Bree said.

When she reached 38, Bree took that leap and began her journey with Melbourne IVF. Unlike many women in her position, she approached her decision with complete confidence and no anxiety about telling family and friends.

"I was so set and confident in what I was wanting to do," she said. "All my loved ones and even work colleagues... they knew how much I wanted to be a mum."

Watch the trailer for Mamamia's Diary of a Birth podcast. Post continues below.

The fertility journey wasn't straightforward.

Bree had unique resources to help navigate fertility treatment — her godmother is a professor who pioneered frozen embryo technology in the 1980s.

"I had a lot of conversations with her around what procedures entail... I feel very lucky that I had that free advice and support," she said.

After two failed intrauterine insemination (IUI) attempts and one cancelled cycle using the Victorian sperm bank, Bree moved to IVF. When her doctor relocated to Life Fertility, Bree followed, which turned out to be fortuitous as it gave her access to a Seattle sperm bank with thousands of potential donors.

And according to Bree, picking the donor really is just like in the movies.

"It's like a checklist you can scroll through. You go in there, and you feel like you're picking a pair of pants or something… putting together a recipe of what your perfect man would be," she said.

"I always said that I would pick a donor based on his character and the profile of someone who I would want to be with."

Before long, she'd found her man.

"I was sitting in my hotel room in Queensland… when this one donor stuck out to me, and I was like, 'Done, made my decision'," Bree said.

From her nine retrieved eggs, Bree eventually had just one viable embryo.

"All my prayers to the universe were based on that one beautiful embryo," she said. "And that's all I needed."

When she found out she was pregnant, Bree was beside herself.

"I got to my best friend's house, and the first thing I did was get out and just scream to her that I was pregnant. I spent the next hour ringing family and friends, and they were just crying and so excited," she said. "It was one of the best days of my life."

Bree got to scrub in like a doctor for her maternal assisted C-section. Image: Supplied.

The maternal assisted C-section: A rare and empowering birth option.

Little Oscar was an extremely active baby. There wasn't a day Bree didn't feel him moving around. When it came closer to crunch time, her obstetrician was elated to hear she didn't have a birth plan.

"She says, 'Your birth plan never goes to plan'. And I said, 'Yes, I've learned that through my girlfriends'," Bree said.

Her obstetrician did note that, given Bree's age, she was considered a "geriatric pregnancy" in medical terms. Between that and her baby being conceived through IVF, there could be complications during birth.

They decided a C-section would be the safest delivery option.

"The two things that I wanted more than anything was, I just wanted my baby to be safe, and me to be safe," Bree said.

A few weeks after deciding on a C-section, Bree's obstetrician made an unexpected suggestion.

"I want to offer you something... we can offer a maternal-assisted C-section," the doctor told her. "You actually get to deliver your baby. You pull your baby out."

This rare procedure, sometimes called a "MAC" section, allows mothers to be actively involved in their child's birth in a way most C-section mothers don't experience.

"You scrub like a doctor, which I thought was pretty cool, because I always pretend I'm a doctor, after all those Grey's Anatomy episodes," Bree laughed.

Holding Oscar close was such a special moment. Image: Supplied.

The procedure works like this: after the obstetrician creates the incision and delivers the baby up to the shoulders, the mother is guided to reach down and pull her baby out herself.

"I can remember very vividly as soon as she cut me … his hand came up, and she goes, 'Oh, my God, he's ready to come out'," Bree said.

"I pulled him out and straight on to me, and it's the best thing in the world … my world was being put on my chest."

With her mother in the room as support, the moment was doubly special.

"She said it was one of the most awe-inspiring things to not only watch her grandson and her first grandchild be born, but to watch her daughter deliver her grandson," Bree said. "She knew how much I wanted to be a mum."

Bree got to pull little Oscar out herself. Image: Supplied.

The unexpected family that came together.

Perhaps the most beautiful part of Bree's story is how her son Oscar brought completeness to her life in unexpected ways.

Though she began the journey to motherhood alone, she eventually found love with Andrew, her longtime friend who enthusiastically stepped into the role of Oscar's dad.

"I say to people that Oscar was the angel I've been praying to the universe for, for so long," Bree shared. "Ever since I got pregnant with him, my whole world feels like it's just falling into place."

Her story stands as powerful proof that there's no single "right way" to become a mother or to birth a child. Sometimes the most extraordinary birth stories come from making your own path.

"At the end of the day, the end result of your little baby is all worth it."

Read more Diary of a Birth stories here.

Feature image: Supplied.