Relationship burnout is real. Here's the one conversation that can fix it.

Let's get one thing straight, burnout isn't just for the boardroom.

When we think of "burn out" we often associate it with work. Pictures of spreadsheets, overflowing inboxes and unread emails, and the feeling of wanting to throw your laptop out of the window.

But as a clinical psychologist, I can tell you that burnout can sneak into other parts of our lives — including our relationships.

In the therapy room, I hear it from clients. They talk about an exhaustion creeping into their personal lives. It's not just about being tired after a long day at work or feeling stretched thin by the demands of parenting. Instead, it's a unique kind of weariness that settles into the spaces between them and the people they love the most.

They're not just tired from their jobs, they're tired in their relationships.

Watch: How to Discuss Burnout with Your Doctor. Post continues after video.

Often, they'll confess to feeling guilty for not wanting to spend time with their partner, or for snapping over small things that never used to bother them. One person recently told me she felt completely detached from her husband, even though nothing in particular had changed.

Another described a sense of emptiness, as if every conversation with her partner was happening on autopilot, without any real connection.

These stories echo what we know about burnout in other areas of life, such as work.

When we're burnt out at work, we start to dread Monday mornings, lose our motivation, and see everything through a negative lens. In relationships, the symptoms are strikingly similar. The person who once made you laugh now just seems to get under your skin. The thought of planning a date night or having a deep conversation feels more exhausting than inviting. Even small gestures of affection can feel like chores.

What's important to remember is that relationship burnout isn't a reflection of your love or commitment towards another person. It's a sign that your emotional reserves are depleted, and that both you, and your relationship, need some care. 

The causes of relationship burnout can be as varied as the people I see experiencing it: sometimes it's the relentlessness of daily responsibilities, sometimes it's unresolved conflict simmering beneath the surface, and sometimes it's simply the result of not having enough time or space to recharge as two separate individuals.

My recommendation to people who find themselves stuck in relationship burnout?

Name the feeling to the person you love and the relationship that is suffering.

Listen to this episode about burnout. Post continues after podcast.

Sharing the vulnerability with your partner and acknowledging that burnout is present can be the first step towards healing within yourself, and healing within the relationship.

Relational burnout isn't limited to our romantic relationships — it's something I see showing up in so many different ways for clients.

I've sat with people who are completely depleted from caring for ageing parents, or who feel numb after years of juggling work and parenting without a break. Even the most passionate activists and community leaders can find themselves running on empty, and feeling disconnected from their original purpose.

What these experiences have in common is that sense of emotional exhaustion, a feeling that you have nothing left to give. Whether it's in the workplace, at home, or in the wider community, burnout can sneak in quietly, often disguised as just "being tired" or "losing interest." But over time, it erodes our sense of joy and connection, leaving us feeling isolated and unfulfilled.

Recognising burnout in these areas is just as important as noticing it in our relationships. Take it as a gentle reminder that we're human, with limits, and that caring for ourselves is not selfish. Listen to the early warning signs, and give yourself the chance to pause, reflect and reset.

Feature Image: Instagram/@anastasia.hronis.

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