Domestic violence is more prevalent than ever right now. Here's exactly how to spot it.

Thanks to our brand partner, Wesnet

It's a tragic fact that, as 2024 comes to a close, an average of one Australian woman is killed every four days by domestic violence. 

While the responsibility for that statistic rests squarely on the shoulders of perpetrators, there are steps that we, as a society, can take to keep as many women safe as possible.

Domestic violence victims are often suffering in silence, so knowing what to look out for can be a critical first step. An expert in this field is Karen Bentley, the CEO of WESNET who spoke to Mamamia about how to spot domestic violence.

WESNET is the national peak body for family violence crisis in Australia, which means it supports more than 350 services like women's refuges, shelters and domestic violence crisis centres across the country.

"WESNET works to support its member services on the front line with essentials like training, safe phones and Uber rides," Karen told Mamamia. 

"We've been grateful to have the support of Uber donating free rides to members through the Driving Change program," Karen said. "It means we're able to offer our member services around Australia access to free Uber rides so they can book a ride for any client."

Since Uber's partnership with WESNET began in 2019, Uber has committed $660,000 to the program, with demand for rides taken through it surging by 186 per cent.

"Many women escaping domestic violence don't have access to a car, have relocated to areas with no public transport or are impacted by trauma, which means catching public transport is too difficult. Since financial abuse often goes hand in hand with domestic violence, a free Uber ride can be critical for those needing to leave everything behind and just go."

Sadly, it's well-recognised by domestic violence support networks that Christmas is a particularly dangerous time of year for those in abusive relationships.

In the lead up to this period between 2021 and 2023, demand for rides through Uber's Driving Change program jumped by 45 per cent and this is projected to climb further, with a 63 per cent year-on-year increase from October 2023 to October 2024 alone.

That's why Uber and WESNET have now launched the Safe Ride Out initiative to raise awareness of the urgent need for assistance for families affected by domestic violence and encourage Australians to donate to help fund additional rides for those in need this festive season and beyond.

Karen said various factors are probably at play around the festive season. The financial burden of a particularly expensive time of year, excessive drinking and partying and more time spent in the home without work can all contribute to a "pressure cooker" effect.

What that means is that it's a critical time to be on the lookout for signs of domestic and family violence among your friends and family. But it's useful to remember that there won't always be obvious or physical signs that abuse is occurring.

"Quite often there are no physical signs of violence," Karen explained. That doesn't mean that the coast is clear — on the contrary, you might need to delve a little deeper if you have a sense that something is not quite right. 

Karen said identifying domestic violence really boils down to a sense that because of their partner's influence, a friend or family member is "not actually free to do what they would like to do or live the way that they would like to".

That can be as vague as a sense that they aren't acting freely, like an unusual reluctance to accept an invitation for a Christmas catch-up drink, or as explicit as watching them be degraded, abused or harassed by their partner in public. 

Spending money and socialising are two of the mainstays of the festive season, so Karen suggested looking out for undue influence over how a victim spends their time or money. The same goes for any intimate relationship where one partner has complete control over what the other person does, says or wears.

"If a partner is putting the pressure on not to go out with friends or a partner won't let them go out, those can be warning signs," Karen flagged. The same goes for any comments about how and whether a person has access to money.

If you suspect that a friend or family member might be living through domestic violence, Karen's key advice is that being non judgemental and having an open mind are far more useful than providing a detailed plan.

"You don't need to come up with a plan or a quick fix," she said. "It's just really helpful to be someone who they know will listen and can turn to without any judgement." 

Karen warned that it can be easy, from the position of an outsider, to question a victim's behaviour.

"People don't necessarily have the means to leave a domestic violence situation. It can be complicated, and leaving can actually be one of the most dangerous times," she said.

Karen suggested making open-ended comments like "If you ever need anything, I'm always here," or "You seem a little down today — is there anything I can help with?" to show you're a safe space without pressuring a response.

The most important takeaway for those of us hoping to help domestic violence victims?

"Living in a domestic violence situation can be really hard work, and planning to leave can be complicated. There are services out there that can help. What you can offer to someone in need is the knowledge that, when the time is right, you will be there to support them."

Learn more about WESNET and Uber's Safe Ride Out initiative and donate here.

If you or anyone you know needs to speak with an expert, please contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) — the National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.

Feature Image: Getty.

This festive season, Uber is calling on Australians to make a donation to women's services network WESNET, to provide a Safe Ride Out for the thousands of women and children impacted by domestic violence during what should be a time of coming together and celebration.