An expert told us there are 5 things a partner will do before they cheat on you.

It's horrific to discover your loved one is cheating, but what if you could find out the signs before they do it?

We'd all want to spot the "tells" that someone is engaging in infidelity, right?

The thing is, if you've been cheated on before or have unresolved trust issues, suddenly, everything can feel like a red flag. They're home late? Cheating. They smile at their phone? Cheating. They breathe? Definitely cheating.

But here's the uncomfortable truth: sometimes the problem isn't them; it's your insecurity whispering, "What if?"

What looks like a "sign" is often just fear talking. If you're in a secure place, those same behaviours might not even register. It's like someone rubbing your arm — if there's a wound, it stings; if not, it's just a touch. Context is king!

Watch: the video below for signs someone might be cheating on you.

And let's face it: some of us like the drama of hunting for signs. It gives us a weird sense of control, as if spotting the "cheating tells" early will somehow hurt less. Spoiler: it won't.

Of course, red flags exist, but they must be understood in the bigger picture of trust, communication, and the relationship dynamic. A single behaviour doesn't scream "RUN!" It's about patterns, not paranoia.

Here are five red-flag patterns that actually matter:

1. Chronic boundary-busting.

If they repeatedly ignore or disrespect your boundaries, that's not just a red flag — it's a warning sign that says, "I don't respect you."

2. Consistently lying.

No one should be comfortable telling consistent lies, no matter how small.

3. Excessive secrecy.

Being possessive over their phone or dodging basic questions about their plans isn't privacy; that's evasiveness.

4. Blame game.

If they're always the victim, they've already rehearsed their excuses for when things go south.

5. Emotional laziness.

When someone stops investing in you emotionally, it might be because they're investing in someone else.

The real work.

Consider how your own trust issues play into it. Image: Getty.

Even when red flags are present, trust issues often start with you.

And here's the kicker: trust issues won't magically disappear because you find someone who never sets off your alarms. Trust isn't about them, but your ability to handle discomfort without jumping to worst-case scenarios.

Always ask yourself:

• Have they given me a reason not to trust them?

• Or am I dragging unresolved baggage from my past into this situation?

Treating your partner like a suspect doesn't just hurt them; it also ruins your ability to enjoy the relationship. You might think you're protecting yourself, but really, you're sabotaging something that hasn't even had the chance to succeed.

And if they do cheat? Remember: cheating is about them, not you. You can't control someone else's choices, but you can control how you show up — and whether this relationship is worth showing up for.

Flip the script: stop hunting for red flags and start spotting green ones.

Rebuilding trust through intentional dating.

According to Tinder, 40 per cent of users in 2024 said trustworthiness is their preferred quality in a partner. But trust isn't about finding someone perfect — it's about trusting yourself: your instincts, boundaries, and ability to make decisions aligned with your values.

And let's talk about the "assumption epidemic": green flags often get mistaken for red ones. Why? Because when you're stuck in fear mode, even kindness can feel suspicious.

Intentional dating isn't just about assessing others — it's about holding up a mirror to your own habits and tendencies. Every date, every match, every conversation is a chance to figure out who you are, what you need, and how you can show up as your best self in a relationship.

2024's dating trends.

Are you looking at your partner like ???? Image: Getty.

Intentional dating can be a powerful tool if you're working through trust issues. You can't rebuild trust by isolating yourself — it's about taking small, thoughtful steps to connect.

Tinder research shows that more and more Australians are taking dating seriously moving forwards. For example, one of the biggest trends has been something called 'Loud Looking'.

"Looking for…" was one of Tinder's most popular bio mentions last year. People are getting unapologetically clear about their needs and desires from the start.

Rebuilding trust is a process, not a race.

Rebuilding trust starts with you slowing down and learning to trust your instincts.

1. Set clear intentions: Know what you're looking for and reflect that in your countenance and dating apps. Be upfront about your needs and desires.

2. Get Verified: Avoid catfishing on dating apps by matching with ID and photo-verified users, to feel confident that your matches are who they say they are.

3. Practice boundaries: Use dating apps as a safe space to express expectations early and address inconsistent communication.

Trust starts with your ability to communicate your needs, respect your boundaries, and walk away when someone crosses them. If you can do that, you'll be much less likely to ignore red flags — or invent them.

Serra Bozza is an ICF-certified dating coach, Tinder's dating guru, and founder of date-coaching service 'Sideswiped'.

Feature image: Getty.