Do you keep secrets from your partner? Or are you an open book?
"I had this sense that one day there would be someone who really knew me inside and out; I would have this best friend where I was porous," Jessie Stephens said on a recent episode of the Mamamia Out Loud podcast.
But, she said, this idea is a "myth, I think, we're fed from childhood".
It kicked off a conversation between Jessie and her MMOL co-hosts, Holly Wainwright and Emily Vernem, about whether or not it's okay to keep secrets in marriages and relationships.
Watch: This woman decided to try open marriage for 12 months. Post continues after video.
The discussion was sparked following a piece in The Atlantic — called 'In Defense of Marital Secrets' — which argued that total honesty in a relationship isn't necessary (an idea from Lauren Elkin's book Scaffolding).
"Perhaps we learned through movies and books that someone will complete you and then you'll live with them and there'll never be any secret and there will be total intimacy," said Jessie.
"But add in other factors like sex, money, kids, in-laws, and suddenly, in fact, friendships are a lot simpler because we're not sharing money, we're not navigating a sex life, and we're not deciding how to co-parent a child.