'I slept with hundreds of men before I realised what I was actually chasing.'

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Belinda Love had slept with hundreds of men, but she didn't see herself as a sex addict — at least, not at first. For a long time, she believed her behaviour was normal.

"I even wondered why other people weren't doing the same things as me," Belinda told Mamamia.

"I didn't realise I was seeing the world through a distorted filter."

For years, Belinda's relationship with sex swung between extremes, periods of total abstinence and weekends filled with back-to-back encounters.

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"It could be four times in a weekend," she said. "Sometimes I'd go home with someone, then go back out and meet someone else."

She attended swingers' clubs, participated in orgies, and was a regular third party in other couples' threesomes.

On the surface, her experiences were exciting. Empowering, even. But deep down, Belinda was filled with loneliness.

Because for Belinda, sex wasn't about sexual desire or even physical pleasure, it was about validation.

"Everything I did was driven by my need to feel loved and validated," she explained.

"I wasn't chasing sex. I was chasing belonging. It wasn't about needing it every day. It was about meeting someone who could make me feel special. I confused chemistry for compatibility. It didn't feel like addiction. It felt like freedom."

Belinda Love. Image: Supplied.

After a sexual encounter, she says, the same emotions always followed: shame, rejection, and self-loathing.

"I'd feel like sh**. Used. Stupid. Wondering what was wrong with me and why they said they'd call but didn't. And then I'd go looking for someone else, because I didn't want to feel that way," she said.

At the height of her addiction, Belinda's behaviour became more reckless.

"I remember thinking, 'What the heck is happening? Why do I keep ending up in these situations?'" she said.

Belinda began studying counselling, life coaching and trauma healing. She cut emotional ties with past lovers, abstained from sex for long stretches, and slowly rebuilt her self-worth.

"When I fell in love with myself, all the desires went away," she said.

"I realised I was always 'on heat' because I was searching for something external to fix an internal wound. Once I healed that, it stopped.

"When you love yourself, you can show up in a relationship from a place of wholeness. You can listen, communicate, and fight the problem instead of each other."

Belinda is now in a healthy, long-term relationship built on compassion and communication, and is committed to fighting against the stigma of sex addiction.

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"There's so much shame around sex addiction, especially for women," she said.

"The comments I've had online have been disgusting. People think they can mock your body, make jokes about your vagina. It's ignorant. No one makes those comments about women who've had years of sex with one partner."

Instead of hiding, Belinda is now using her story to educate, co-hosting Sxhibition, a sex-positive event where she'll help people feel confident in their bodies and make healthier choices.

"People don't want to talk about it because they're afraid of being judged or rejected," she said. "But we need to be more curious, less judgemental. You never know someone's story."

While Belinda believes recovery from sex addiction looks different for everyone, she says it starts with honesty.

"Ask yourself: What's driving me to do this? How do I feel afterwards? If the answer is unfulfilled, ashamed or rejected, it's time to seek help," Belinda said.

"It's not about how much sex you have, it's about why. If the why is pain, loneliness or a lack of self-worth, you can't fix that on your own. Reach out. Find someone you trust. Healing changes everything."

"I wasn't addicted to sex," she said. "I was addicted to being loved. And once I learned to love myself, everything changed."

Feature Image: Supplied.