real life

The Very Peri Summit Resource Centre: Sex and Sexuality with Tracey Cox.

Tracey Cox is an international sex, body language and relationships expert as well as a TV presenter. She is well-known for her TV shows on sex and relationships as well as her range of best-selling books which have sold millions world-wide. Tracey has a weekly column in the Mail Online and her own range of products, developed with Love Honey.

In this session, she debunks some common perimenopause sex myths and shares her advice for keeping a happy sex life during perimenopause.

Here are her top four tips:

1. Change your mindset.

Yep, that's right. Before you rule sex out as an option, Cox recommends you change your perspective when it comes to sex.

"I think it really, really struck me when I was researching my book Great sex starts at 50, because I spoke to hundreds and hundreds of women asking the question,' How much was women's decreased sex drive tied to hormones, and how much was it attitude?' 

"And in fact, attitude had more of an influence over women in menopause and how much they enjoyed sex more than the hormone changes."

Cox's recommendations for getting back in the mood: Explore your sexuality again. 

"Use perimenopause as a real means to explore," Cox says.

Whether that be reading an erotic novel, listening to audio porn or watching a sexy movie, take a look at the things that get you excited and try implementing them in your sex life.

"I know women who actually play audio porn as their partner gives them oral sex and they think that it is such a turn on."

See what works for you!

2. Combat vaginal dryness

Once you have the mental aspect down pat, Cox suggests turning to physical aids for vaginal dryness. They can include:

Lube

First and foremost, Cox always recommends lube for couples experiencing any dryness. As a next resort...

Vaginal moisturiser

Next, Cox recommends a vaginal moisturiser, which is a treatment applied internally to the vagina that lasts about three days and should keep things "nice and moist".

Topical oestrogen

Another alternative is a topical oestrogen cream that can be applied via a pessary.

These are a great alternative for people who can't access Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).

3. Talk to your partner

"Once you get older you can't get away with not talking about sex," Cox says.

"If you are in a long-term relationship, really the idea is to start talking about the little things and saying, 'gosh, you know what? I used to love intercourse, but do you know what? Now it's starting to hurt and it's all to do with menopause and can we talk about that?'

"I think people get all caught up in that idea of; 'oh my partner, won't quite think I'm sexy,' but he's struggling with the same thing. If you're in a straight relationship, chances are he's thinking, 'well, I need to present with this rockstar erection.'"

4. One word: Grinding.

"If you are having painful intercourse, thrusting can be uncomfortable," Cox explains.

"Instead of doing that, if you keep your pelvis close and you move in a sort of the grinding circular motion that is far less painful, it feels great because it maintains pressure on the clitoris."

Perimenopause does not have to mean an end to a bountiful sex life. Go forward and enjoy it in its new form!

Additional resources:

Information discussed in The Very Peri Summit is for education purposes only and is not intended to provide professional medical advice. Readers should seek their own medical advice, specific to their circumstances, from their treating doctor or health care professional.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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