After much hype and so, so many ~ controversial ~ teasers, the latest season of Seven Year Switch finally hit our television screens on Monday evening.
There was bickering, shouting, tears, thrown plates, and one seriously dirty looking vibrator.
And not dirty as in kinky, but dirty as in, ‘for the love of vaginal health, get that woman some boiling water and disinfectant soaked cloth to clean with, stat’.
We're talking ridges of dark, dusty, unidentified filth here, people.
Upon witnessing said sex toy, it was all viewers could do not to barf up their recently consumed dinner and reach for their nearest device to tweet in protest.
"Give that vibrator a wash once in a while," one viewer wrote.
Listen: Michelle from last years season tells Tiff and Clare on The Binge what her advice is for this years contestants....
"Mate at least clean it before you broadcast it on national TV," another tweeted.
In case you missed it, said sex toy belongs to Kaitlyn, an American woman who is currently in a turbulent relationship with an Australian man named Mark.
Preparing for their imminent separation to take part in the dubious "experiment" that the entire premise of the show rests on, Kaitlyn pulled out her vibrator from the dankest, darkest depths of her wardrobe before gleefully crying, "Can't forget this guy!"
Oh trust me, Kaitlyn, we can't forget him either.
And hey, don't get me wrong. Seeing a woman cling to her vibrator with wanton abandon and seemingly mistake it for Whitney Houston's microphone while being filmed for a nationally distributed television show was great. But apparently, no one told Kaitlyn the all-important rules of the sex toy game: CLEAN. AFTER. EVERY. USE.
No exceptions.
Hot water, detergents, spray and wipes and specialised cleaning products are your friends. And the friends of your bits, for that matter.
Maybe she had cleaned it, and the ridges of Kaitlyn's vibrator were so damn dusty because she'd packed it away wet. But maybe she'd put it away used and that's what made everything ... stick. Gross.
Either way, you, me, and the unsuspecting camera crew will honestly never know what happened.
All I do know for sure, though, is that reading cleaning instructions is an essential part of the getting off process. Especially if you're going to share said process with an audience of strangers with access to Twitter.
Because no one wants to see germs getting on while you're getting off.
