Feel like a belly laugh? Read this sad blogger's 'take-down' of confident women.

By ROSIE WATERLAND

An article by a very small-time blogger is going mega viral at the moment.

Why? Basically because it’s the worst thing ever.

The blogger’s name is Matt Forney, and on his blog, he calls himself ‘an internet celebrity’. (Although he only has 296 Facebook fans so ‘internet celebrity’ is probably more of an aspirational thing.)

The article in question is called ‘The Case Against Female Self-Esteem’. Yeah. Gross.

The Mamamia Team debated whether or not we should even cover it, since this guy pretty much wrote the book on trolling (like, literally, he wrote an e-‘book’ called Trolling For A Living), and everything that he writes is designed to get him lots of sad, sad attention.

But, a lot of people are talking about it, and that’s our website’s reason for being: ‘what everyone is talking about today’. And so we figured we’d at least have a quick look.

First of all (and in a delicious bit of irony), Forney’s post about the insecurities of women ends up demonstrating more about his own insecurities than anything else. It is glaringly obvious that this dude has been dumped by a confident lady at some point and ended up with a massive complex. Observe:

[The confidant woman] views men as a life support system for a penis, an accoutrement, no different than her Manolo Blahniks or snazzy new iPhone.

When she gets bored of her boy-toy, she tosses him in the trash and moves on to a newer, shinier model, and if she can get cash and prizes for trading in her old clunker, that’s just the icing on the cake.

Essentially, “confident” women are incapable of viewing men as human beings.

Hmmm… Jilted much?

So, bearing in mind his trolling status and bizarre hatred of some self-sufficient woman who broke his heart once upon a time – let’s have a look at the best quotes from this ridiculous article and all have a good laugh:

….

“Whenever a girl I’m talking to brags about how she’s “confident” and “strong,” I can feel my dick deflating like a punctured tire. I’d still bang her, of course; a repellent personality doesn’t negate the fact that she has a slammin’ body. But a crucial part of the attraction is lost.”

“Women claim they want equal rights as men, but they don’t want equal responsibilities. As such, they demand respect not based on their merit as people, but for merely continuing to breathe…

If every girl was fired from her job tomorrow, elementary schools would have to shut down for a couple days, but otherwise life would go on as usual. If every man lost his job tomorrow, the country would collapse.”

“Insecurity is the natural state of woman. How could it be anything else? Given their lack of physical strength, a woman on her own should be frightened as hell without men to protect her.”

“Confidence doesn’t give men erections; vulnerability does.”

“This is the kicker; in their bones, girls know that their toxic, feminist you-go-grrl ideology is a lie. They want nothing more than for a man to throw them over his knee, shatter the Berlin Wall around their hearts, and expose the lovestruck, bashful little girl within.”

“Feminists can claim that women don’t need men, but their actions put the lie to that; they need us far more than we need them. Girls will all but die without masculine attention.”

“At the end of the day, there are no Strong, Independent Women™. There are only shrews pleading for a taming. Girls don’t want the six-figure cubicle job… They want to be collectively led back to the kitchen, told to make a nice big tuna sandwich with extra mayo and lettuce, then swatted on the ass as we walk out the door.”

Phew. That was funny.

Now let’s never mention this knob-cloud again.