'Self-doubt almost sabotaged my career, until I learnt this simple trick to stop it.'

We all know that voice. The one that whispers, "You're not good enough," or "Who do you think you are?"

It's the voice that tells us to "do better", "try harder" and "push on". This inner voice can be really mean, overwhelming and a bit of a bully. It can make us doubt ourselves, hold us back, sap our energy, and keep us from pursuing our dreams.

But what if, in the right circumstances, that voice could actually help us?

Let me share a personal story.

Listen to this episode on silencing that mean inner critic. Post continues after podcast.

Before I became a clinical psychologist, I had a career as a pianist.

A few years ago, I stumbled across a competition with a prize that felt almost too surreal to be true. The winner of the competition had the chance to perform at Carnegie Hall in New York.

For me, this wasn't just a venue — it was the absolute dream. I'd written "Visit Carnegie Hall" in my bucket list journal years before. But the idea of performing there really only seemed like a dream.

When I saw the competition advertised, and the prize of my dreams, my first reaction was excitement. My second reaction, though, was less cheerful and enthusiastic. It was self-doubt.

Watch: Psychologist Dr Anastasia Hronis on the power of stopping. Post continues below.

"You'll never make it," my inner critic said. "Don't embarrass yourself. You're competing against people from around the world. What makes you think you're good enough?"

The inner critic was LOUD. So loud, that I didn't tell anyone I was applying. I was so sure I'd fail that I wanted to keep it a secret.

But I applied because I didn't want to live with the regret of not trying, and not applying. I knew I'd be able to handle failure. But I didn't want to live with "what if…?"

Here's the thing about that self-doubt; it made me work harder. I practised more, refined my performance, and paid attention to every detail. I didn't let the voice stop me — I let it push me.

And when I got the email saying I'd been chosen as a winner, I was stunned. My dream was coming true, and it was my inner critic that had, in a strange way, helped me get there.

Playing at Carnegie Hall. Image: Supplied.

It's important to recognise that the "inner critic" comes in two main forms: demanding, and punitive.

If we have a demanding inner critic, this can feel like a "push". It pushes us to work harder, strive harder, do better and be better. This is not entirely bad — as long as it's in moderation.

When our demanding inner critic gets too loud, we need to know how to turn the volume down and put it back in its place.

I'm lucky to have an inner critic that can be demanding. And over the years, I've learnt how to tune out or turn the volume down.

But for those of us who have a punitive inner critic, it can be much harder. This type of inner critic doesn't push us. It squashes us.

It feels like being flattened, and sounds like "You're a loser", "No one likes you", "You'll never amount to anything — don't even bother trying."

There's no useful or healthy place for a punitive inner critic.

Dealing with this critical voice involves not just turning the volume down, but getting rid of it completely.

Self-doubt can be paralysing, but it can also be a powerful motivator. It keeps us humble. It reminds us that we are always learning and growing. It prepares us to push forward. It helps us work harder, and smarter.

Self-doubt isn't always a bad thing. And our inner critic isn't always working against us.

In fact, sometimes it's working with us — but it's working double time, and needs to learn when to take a break. Sometimes, it's the nudge we need to do our best work.

So next time your inner critic pipes up, don't rush to shut it down.

Ask yourself, is this voice here to help me grow?

If the answer is yes, thank it, readjust the volume, and then get to work.

Feature: Supplied.