'I had a secret relationship with my boss. 13 years later, I realised why it was a mistake.'

As the famous saying goes, 'don't sh** where you eat'. But as a young woman entering the workforce for the first time, I most certainly wasn't going to take heed of this advice.

Why would I? I had just met the man of my dreams (or so I had thought). He was tall, he was handsome and he held an executive role at the company I worked at.

But, most importantly, he liked me back.

So what if he was my boss and I was a mere junior in the office? Love is love and all that, right? I met him when I was 20 years old and he was 33. He was newly divorced and had three kids.

At the risk of being predictable, we first made our feelings known to each other at the office Christmas party.

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Put it down to the fairy lights, Christmas spirit, or maybe it was just too much champagne, but I confessed my feelings — and he reciprocated.

From there, we started sneaking around, in and out of the office.

Before I knew it, we were making out in the fire escape, sharing secret kisses in the lunchroom and sneaking off for secret getaways far away from the city.

Keeping the relationship a secret was hard, but the fear of getting caught and the anticipation of when we would next sneak off together was thrilling.

It fuelled such excitement that when we finally got a moment alone, our emotions were so heightened and intense, it created a passion I'd never experienced before.

Being a lowly executive at the time, I was in charge of doing the 3pm coffee runs for the team.

My boss would make any excuse to accompany me. "Oh, you can't carry that many coffees by yourself," he would say.

He'd call across the office to cover up the real reason he was coming — so we could snatch a secret moment together in the loading dock behind the coffee shop.

These antics continued for months.

If I stayed at his house, we would plan ahead and make sure we arrived at the office at different times to avoid sparking rumours.

We'd make sure we said our weekend plans were completely different in case any of our colleagues asked what we got up to and we had similar answers.

I'd even call in sick and he'd say he was in back-to-back meetings all day, so we could spend the day together uninterrupted.

To my family and friends, I had to make up that I had a boyfriend.

They were constantly asking me what I was doing, why I was so busy, why I had plans all the time.

It was hard. My first real relationship — and I couldn't share it with a single soul for fear of someone finding out and putting his career in jeopardy.

Listen: On Mamamia's flagship podcast Out Loud, hosts Mia Freedman, Holly Wainwright and Jessie Stephens dive into the complexities of workplace relationships — and whether banning them does more harm than good. Post continues below.

One weekend we planned to get out of the city so we could have the freedom to be a real couple without being seen.

We went to a winery and finally got to experience what it would be like to be together without sneaking around.

He'd organised a helicopter to pick us up and take us around for wine tasting, and brought us back to our hotel suite for a dinner cooked by a private chef.

I was embodying Anastasia Steele and I had my very own Christian Grey.

Imagine having this amazing experience and not being able to share (read: brag) with all my girlfriends who teased me about my 'invisible boyfriend.'

I longed to share this relationship with my loved ones, but knew the consequences weren't worth it.

On our drive home from our weekend away, we stopped off halfway to put fuel in the car. We held hands as we walked in to pay and grab some food.

As we were walking, I could feel eyes on us. I turned to see one of our co-workers walking right behind us.

We exchanged eye contact but didn't speak a word to each other.

My heart sunk and I knew then that this relationship was about to be cracked wide open once we returned to the office on Monday.

At this point, I had fallen head over heels in love with my boss.

We had to figure out what was next. Not only had we been outed, but we had realised this was more than just a fling.

We had real feelings for each other and needed to navigate what our lives looked like now.

From here, our relationship got real.

It went from steamy and exciting to navigating being a step-mum, dealing with a disgruntled ex-wife and telling my parents I was dating a man 13 years older with three kids — all while navigating the early stages of a new relationship.

It was hard, but we got through it. We got engaged. Got married. Had our own son.

The Fifty Shades of Grey–esque life we once had become a foggy memory, and the realities of what it takes to build and maintain a real relationship set in.

After almost 13 years together and two years of marriage, we ended up divorcing.

Looking back, the risk of getting caught, the anticipation of when we'd next see each other, and the excitement of finding our next secret sex location distracted us from the important things a couple needs to work on at the beginning of a relationship.

At the time, all the sneaking around was thrilling and felt like I was living out a fantasy.

But now I look back and think: as a 21-year-old, I was making short-term decisions and wasn't aware of their long-term impact.

While the relationship was fun at the beginning, it prevented us from doing the work we all need to do with our partners in those crucial first stages — ensuring our values and priorities align, identifying our communication styles, setting expectations.

All of which went undone and, ultimately, contributed to the end of our marriage.

Feature: Getty.