'I’m a second time mum and these are the 3 things I refuse to stress about.'

Thanks to our brand partner, Infant Nutrition Council

Here's what nobody told me before I had kids: the hardest part isn't the sleepless nights, the mess or even stepping on LEGO® in the dark (though that's up there).

It's the invisible pressure that follows you everywhere.

Pressure to feed. Pressure to smile politely while absorbing 57 pieces of conflicting advice from friends, relatives and random strangers online. Pressure to juggle the whole mental load while somehow looking like you've got it all together.

Eventually, I realised something had to give. I could either keep chasing the idea of being a "perfect parent" or I could let a few things go.

Here are the three things I flat-out refuse to stress about anymore.

1. Feeding didn't look the way I imagined — and that's okay. 

I had this vision of feeding: peaceful moments, soft light, maybe even a little calm music in the background. Basically, a parenting Instagram reel.

My reality? Not even close.

Nothing about feeding felt instinctive for me. I kept telling myself that something so "natural" shouldn't feel so hard — but it did.

I worried constantly. Was I doing it right? Was everyone comfortable and fed? I even ate my body weight in snacks, convinced it might help somehow — spoiler: it didn't.

Then there were the sore, cracked nipples. The feeds that dragged on forever, and the ones that ended in frustrated tears (sometimes mine, sometimes theirs).

Every session seemed to come with a side order of self-doubt and guilt. And feeds that didn't go smoothly just felt like proof I was getting it wrong.

The turning point? Realising that feeding isn't a competition. It isn't a reflection of whether you're a good parent, or how much you love your child. It's just one part of raising them — a part that looks different in every family.

Because feeding journeys can be tough. And the books, the blogs, the advice from people who swore they had the answer — none of it really prepared me for how emotionally draining it could be, and how much responsibility seemed to fall solely on my shoulders.

Breastfeeding is recommended as the optimal source of nutrition. But some parents use formula, others rely solely on breastfeeding, and many find a mix that works for them, with both parents able to share the feeding load. Each family is different. So why do we pressure ourselves to make our feeding journeys cookie-cutter perfect?

What matters most is being informed and finding a way that feels sustainable, supportive and right for your family — not meeting some Instagram-perfect standard of "how it should be". No mum should feel stigmatised for the feeding choices she has made. 

2. Trusting my own instincts.

The amount of unsolicited parenting advice I got could fill a library. Literally.

One friend swore by strict routines, another told me to "go with the flow". Family members weighed in on everything from sleeping arrangements to car seats.

And social media? Well, that was a whole new level of chaos. One scroll and I'd suddenly be questioning everything from how much TV was "acceptable" to whether my child's shoes were supportive enough.

You quickly realise everyone has an opinion. Your mum. Your neighbour. The checkout person at the supermarket. And they're not shy about sharing it.

At first, I tried to take it all on board. I had spreadsheets. I had bookmarked posts. I was basically running a one-woman experiment in "perfect parenting" — on top of the regular unpaid admin of life (think dental appointments, grocery shopping, laundry, remembering who outgrew their shoes this week).

And honestly? It was exhausting.

What worked for someone else's child didn't always work for mine. And trying to please everyone left me confused and further from my instincts than ever.

So now? I nod politely, smile when strangers weigh in and quietly ignore half of it. I've muted Instagram accounts that make me feel inferior, and I've learned to tune into the small voice inside me that says: you know your child best. Because I do.

My kids don't need me to parent like someone else. They just need me.

3. I don't have to be the entire village. 

For too long, I thought being a "good mum" meant carrying everything myself: the appointments, the lunchboxes, the birthday presents, the mental spreadsheet of who needed what when (and when they last washed their hair).

Because if I wasn't juggling it all, surely I was failing, right?

Plot twist: the only thing I was failing at was my own wellbeing.

The mental load of motherhood is relentless. It's invisible, but it weighs more than any bag you carry. And it doesn't stop when you finally sit down — it follows you into the shower, into your 2am thoughts, into that moment you lie in bed mentally scrolling through tomorrow's to-do list.

And eventually, I hit a wall. I was tired, resentful and just one school note away from a meltdown.

That's when I realised: nobody wins when a mum is running on empty.

So I started asking for help. From my partner, from friends, from professionals. I stopped pretending I could do it all, and I let people in. The world didn't fall apart when I took a step back. In fact, things got easier. Having access to clear, adequate information about all my options helped me make the right decisions for me and my family.

I found time for self-care and doing things just for me: heading back to my favourite pilates class, catching up with a friend on the weekend and picking up that book I started the year before. 

And the best part? I had energy left over to enjoy the good bits again. The silly jokes. The bedtime cuddles. Even the chaos (though ask me again on a day when everyone's sick).

Feature Image: Supplied.

This article is part of a paid promotion with the Infant Nutrition Council, supporting parents' voices and sharing real experiences with early parenthood. Every parent wants to provide the best for their baby, ensuring they receive safe and adequate nutrition to help them grow and thrive. Whether you breastfeed, formula feed or combine both, we believe feeding choices are deeply personal and all parents deserve support, adequate information, and respect.