By TOM BURNS
There’s a new animated Scooby Doo movie being released to DVD today—Scooby Doo! Frankencreepy—and, unfortunately, the creepiest part of the movie has nothing to do with an overly elaborate plan to scare people away from an abandoned amusement park. Instead, this time, the folks at Warner Bros. Animation decided to subject Daphne, one of the iconic members of the Scooby Gang, to something unspeakable. They subjected her to something that would make her entire juvenile fan base recoil with shock and disgust.
They made her overweight.
(Cue dramatic ‘70s mystery music.)
That’s right. Daphne gets cursed and (horror of horrors) she finds that’s she’s gone from a “size two to a size eight,” even though she’s been drawn by animators who apparently have NEVER seen a size-eight woman in real life before. “Fat Daphne” is drawn like she’s Violet Beauregarde from Willy Wonka, like she’s puffed up like a balloon. You know, like all of those horribly misshapen size-eight freaks out there in the real world, those social outcasts who are forced to live their lives like… normal women. Like professionals and artists and aunts and sisters and mothers WHO BUY THEIR CHILDREN SCOOBY DOO DVDs.
Ruh-roh.
How completely disappointing. I’ve always been a big fan of Scooby Doo. Even though I’m an almost-forty-year-old man, I will tell you right now—the two-season Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated series that recently ran on the Cartoon Network (which you can find on Netflix) is, in my opinion, better than HBO’s The Leftovers or FX’s The Strain. It was a legitimately great show. So, that, mixed with my nostalgia for the original series, has always made Scooby Doo one of my favorite pop culture properties. I’m a Scooby fan and so is my seven-year-old daughter.