Sarah Kopp married her groomer and had his kids. Then she finally saw the truth.

It started as a special interest, compliments and touches. A secret that stole Sarah Kopp's youth and claimed decades of her life.

Sarah was just 14 years old, with dreams of being a dancer, when 31-year-old physical education teacher Paul Grealy destroyed her world.

For years, Grealy — a man entrusted to guide and protect her — groomed Sarah. They went on to marry and have two children.

It took decades for Sarah to process what Grealy had done to her, facing the challenge of unpacking a complex, painful betrayal before she finally decided to press charges.

Listen to Sarah's chat with Kate Langbroek on No Filter. Post continues below.

As a girl, Sarah lived to dance. She loved her friends and tried hard at school.

"I was a bit of a nerd," she told No Filter.

That all changed in 2000.

A charismatic new teacher arrived at Urangan High. Grealy was charming, well-dressed, cool — the type of teacher everyone wanted to be around.

"There was a massive buzz about him," Sarah recalled.

"What stuck with me was the way that he communicated to us as students. It wasn't like all the other teachers. He made you feel like you were on his level in some way, like a mate."

Grealy soon started showing a special interest in Sarah, bonding over her dance background and singling her out for praise.

"Every lesson he would talk to me about that and talk about my physical capabilities and really compliment my strength," she said.

But the compliments soon turned darker, shifting from her abilities to her physical appearance.

"It kind of shifted from being, 'Oh, you know, you're so good at doing that trick' to, 'Oh, you're so muscular. You have such a great muscly body'," she said.

As a young girl coming of age, "just dying to fit in", it was exactly what Sarah wanted to hear.

Then came the physical contact. Necessary spotting in class quickly turned into brazen brushes. Sarah remembers trying to rationalise it, but "it became more frequent and more obvious that he was doing it on purpose."

Grealy and Sarah. Image: Sarah Kopp.

Grealy found ways to isolate Sarah at school, helping her with assignments and normalising his inappropriate behaviour, like "the occasional touching of my knee."

He learned Sarah grew up without a father — an emotional void that would make her particularly vulnerable to his grooming.

As Grealy grew closer to Sarah, she withdrew from her peers.

"I had countless friends and students make comments to me about this relationship," she said.

"I really had to back away, because I was so afraid of talking about anything."

Grealy put her up on a pedestal, telling her he loved her. He made Sarah feel special, turning the relationship into "this secret I felt like I had to protect."

Soon, he entwined himself in her home life, too. Grealy charmed Sarah's mum, Debra, at local sports games.

"Even mum remembers thinking what a lovely, lovely teacher he was, and very invested in me and my education," Sarah said.

He played the concerned teacher, using Debra to organise time to see Sarah before and after school. When Sarah's grandfather died, Grealy sent flowers to her mum, empathising with his own recent loss of his mother. Debra was touched, and he was soon invited for dinner.

"That became such a regular feature of our life, him turning up with a bottle of red wine and some card games and music, and we'd have dinner and have drinks," Sarah said.

"I think he really took advantage of how vulnerable mum was at that time."

The escalation came when Sarah was home sick from school. Grealy arrived with chicken soup.

"That was when it all changed," Sarah said.

"We were home alone together that day."

It was the first time he engaged her in sexual acts.

From there, Grealy's home visits continued. He'd wait for Sarah's mum to go to bed, lingering until he could slip into Sarah's room.

When you're with an adult man, the dynamic is completely different to exploring with people your age, Sarah explained. The first time Grealy kissed her, she froze.

"I just went into complete dissociation. I was unresponsive. I just didn't move," Sarah said.

"It was just a complete fear response, and it just baffles me that he would continue when someone is so unresponsive."

Looking back, Sarah realises she never consented.

"Someone has to be an active participant in that. And I was clearly not. I didn't move," she said.

"He almost had to move me like I was some sort of dummy. And he didn't even acknowledge my responses… I just felt so objectified."

At school, Grealy drilled into her the importance of keeping their "relationship" a secret.

It took Sarah years to recognise it was grooming. Image: Dyllan Liddy Photography.

Later that year, Sarah confided in her best friend, Amanda French, then told her mum.

Grealy confessed to Debra, too, admitting he was "in love with your daughter" and kissing Sarah in front of her.

Debra was both shocked, but the man had also "infiltrated" the whole family and earned her trust.

"In hindsight, she regrets everything. She wishes she could go back in time and change how she responded to things," Sarah said.

"But Mum was very vulnerable and very manipulated through that process as well. So I think she was very confused and did what she thought was best at that time."

When Grealy left Hervey Bay for Brisbane in Year 11, Sarah followed, lured by promises of being a "regular couple" and a place in a specialised dance school. But the promises never eventuated.

Not long after, Grealy ended the relationship, claiming "people are never going to accept us."

"I felt like the rug had been completely pulled from underneath me," Sarah said. "I was so confused, because he had always said, 'You're my soul mate'."

Even after the breakup, Grealy kept seeing Sarah, breadcrumbing her with lies while he was engaged to someone else.

"I was never really out of the picture and away from him and away from his manipulation," Sarah said.

After eight years of marriage, Sarah split from Grealy. Image: Dyllan Liddy Photography.

The final turning point came when he called her, distraught, claiming he'd tried to commit suicide. He asked to stay with her and Debra and never left.

"We ended up getting pregnant, so that was kind of what led to that marriage," she said.

For years, Sarah felt trapped in her 14-year-old self's mind. She never felt she "really grew into a woman" and when she tried to, the cracks in the marriage appeared.

"I used to get comments all the time that I'd changed and that he really misses the young girl who would sit like a puppy at the front door, waiting for him to get home," Sarah said.

"I just thought, Why? Why would you actually want that? Don't you want a woman to be with?"

The path to realisation began after an unrelated car crash led Sarah to counselling. Her counsellor kept probing about her marriage, eventually slipping her information on domestic violence.

"[She] starts saying, 'I don't think you're in a healthy marriage,'" she said.

It planted a seed.

After eight years, the marriage ended.

Sarah started talking more openly about how their relationship started, and the fog began to lift.

"It was probably in those first few years after leaving him that I realised that what had actually happened to me and that the whole thing was just manipulation and abuse the whole time," Sarah said.

When she tried to confront Grealy, he flipped the script, claiming she had instigated everything.

"He was really trying hard to get me to think that it was my fault," she said.

"That was pretty devastating, because I honestly think if he had just said, 'Sorry, I messed up. That was wrong.' I think I would have been able to process that a lot more."

As Sarah rebuilt her life, she couldn't stop dissecting her past. It led her to a difficult, terrifying decision: to go to the police and report Grealy.

It wasn't a decision she made lightly. She knew what people would think: "There was a marriage there, so it couldn't have been that bad." And then there were her children.

But she knew she needed to do it.

Sarah went with Amanda to report Grealy to the police. Image: Facebook/StepInForKids.

With her childhood friend Amanda by her side, in 2018, Sarah confided in Detective Senior Constable Julia Ward.

"It was scary, because I knew once I ripped that band-aid off, there's no going back," she said. "But it was just like a huge weight had been lifted."

The most astounding part was how Julia listened.

"I told the truth. I'd said my story to someone, and it was received. And that, in itself, was huge," Sarah said.

In 2020, Grealy was arrested and charged. The matter went to trial last year, and a jury found Grealy guilty of five counts of indecent treatment of a child under 16 and one count of maintaining an unlawful relationship with a child.

He was sentenced to two and a half years' jail.

It was a moment Sarah will never forget.

"When I heard that they'd found him guilty, that I can't explain to you, the feeling that came over me," Sarah said.

"It was just such emotion. I just I was bawling my eyes out.

"It was so completely validating."

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Today, Sarah still lives with the scars of trauma, but she's focused on helping others.

"I've sort of reached the point now where I feel like it's time to have a voice and come forward with my story, because I'm very passionate," she said.

Alongside Amanda, she recently launched Step In For Kids, an organisation to prevent grooming and support educators about child safety and red flags.

"I do hope I can make a difference in someone's life," Sarah said.

"If I can give someone the strength to make that first step and know that there are people out there that will listen and believe you and a chance to get justice. That's what it's all about."

Feature image: Sarah Kopp.