'The one conversation I'm determined to have with my ageing mum.'

Thanks to our brand partner, Brightwater Aged Care

It's hard to think about my mum getting older. She and I have been close since the end of my antagonistic teenage period.

Since my dad passed away 11 years ago, I've feared her getting older.

It is so important to me that she prioritises her wellness, comfort and happiness as she ages so she can live in a way that keeps her enjoying her life and my kids' lives for as many years as possible.

My dad passed away suddenly when he was 62. He and I hadn't discussed older age or death.

He was active and in good health, so entering his senior years hadn't really been on the radar as something to chat about.

As a result of this experience, my mum and I now talk about it all. We talk about her getting older, the quality of life she wants and how I can support her while raising my own two kids.

I'm the definition of the sandwich generation, supporting my ageing parent alongside baseball practices, laundry, dancing lessons and packing lunches for my own kids.

My mum lives in a community she loves. She has friends close by and walks by the water most mornings. Maintaining these connections and as much of her lifestyle as possible are top priorities.

At-home care, like the service offered by Brightwater Home Care, will be a great fit for her when the need arises. Her independence and comfort are important.

Having someone come to her, in her space, to offer services such as personal care, domestic assistance, allied health and nursing tailored to her needs is the support she and I both need for her.

This care will help make her life a little easier and keep her in her community without fully relying on me while I'm tied up carpooling kids or at work. I also like the idea of her forming new relationships with an expert team who provide a hands-on approach.

To start this essential conversation, the one question to ask your ageing parents is simple: what quality of life do they want to maintain as they age?

The invisible labour of parenting is becoming more commonly discussed but comparable and less talked about is the evolving role of elder caregiving, taken on generally by the eldest daughter (spoiler alert: me) as parents age.

Having assistance for our parents is a huge support for them but also a great relief for the cheese in the sandwich generation (another spoiler: me).

I'm lucky my mum, now in her 70s, is keen to work together on planning her future.

I have the numbers to call should anything happen and I have access to the necessary files. I know she doesn't want me scrambling as she ages. I also know the last thing she wants is to add pressure to my already full mental load.

Having support like the team at Brightwater Aged Care will allow my mum to fulfil her goals to stay independent, remain mentally and physically engaged and live comfortably.

I also know she's worked incredibly hard her whole life, often sacrificing herself for others, giving her time and energy to the community, her children and now grandchildren. She's earned the luxury of being looked after.

Image: Supplied.

Services like meals, food preparation, spring cleaning and laundry are a great opportunity for her to take a well-deserved break, especially in the aftermath of my kids running circles around her home.

She also deserves care that is compassionate, personable and tailored to her.

These days my mum is enjoying water aerobics, pickleball and baking muffins with all of her grandkids. She volunteers, she's part of a book club and she gets lunch out with friends after browsing the local farmers' market. She looks after my kids when I need help and in return, my husband and I help her change lightbulbs and get her new TV set up.

The middle of the sandwich generation comes with its share of mental load, lack of boundaries and concern for people in all directions but it's a beautiful place to be.

While I am predominantly in the role of parent, I also still get to be a daughter from time to time.

When my mum fills my coffee while I read the paper at her kitchen table or sends me home with the questionably mixed muffins she's made with my kids, I feel looked after and loved.

I want to ensure she feels that level of care for the rest of her life. And I know I'll need support to ensure that it's consistent and high quality.

Having conversations around ageing and quality of later life isn't easy.

They often cause me to feel weepy but once the wave of emotion has subsided, I'm always happy we're having them. Chatting about the future without imminent decision-making required feels good and allows us both to practically share what we need.

My dad loved to plan ahead. If he was still alive, I know he'd be a big fan of these conversations, encouraging them and looking to get all the details agreed upon. With him in mind, I know we're having the right conversation.

Visit Brightwater Aged Care to learn more about their home care services.

Feature Image: Supplied.

Brightwater at Home provides in-home care for seniors, including personal care, help around the house, health services such as physio, nursing and more. Our hands- on team ensures you or your loved ones can remain independently at home. Thanks to Brightwater, your care is always in expert hands.