DIARY OF A BIRTH: Phoebe ran into her friend Matt at the shops. With one sentence she changed his life.

What would you do for a friend? Pick them up from the airport at 3am? Hold their hair back while they're throwing up? Maybe even... carry their baby?

That's exactly what Phoebe did for Matthew and Vince, helping them to welcome their beautiful baby boy, Archer.

Before Archer, Matthew and Vince shared a beautiful life together for 15 years, spending time travelling the world, living in the UK, and enjoying the theatre, movies and good food.

They both agreed on wanting to become parents, but as a same-sex couple, were aware that this would not be a simple journey.

Matt told Mamamia's Diary of A Birth podcast, "I think we both had that yearning and that idea around wanting to be a father and wanting to be parents.

"But it wasn't probably until, I'd say, about five or six years ago, that we started to explore the possibility with a little bit more intention."

Both adoption and surrogacy have long, complicated paths, so nothing about getting pregnant would be easy. The legalities, policies, and procedures surrounding both options in Australia were complex and constantly evolving.

Listen to Matthew and Vince's birth story on Diary of a Birth. Post continues below.

"You feel quite overwhelmed by even entering the space and trying to understand where you go for information, and how you can navigate that with your partner," Matthew explained.

It's enough to deter many, but for Matthew and Vince, nothing would stop them from becoming a loving family of three.

They planned for local surrogacy and lined up a family member to be their egg donor, but the question of who would carry their baby still remained.

Matthew and Vince had been open with their friends and family about their desire to have children, even reaching out to their network to see if anyone might want to be a surrogate.

Enter: Phoebe, a close friend.

Everything fell into place when they bumped into her at Bunnings and, out of nowhere, she casually offered to be their surrogate.

"It was completely out of left field. And we kind of joke about it now just how the conversation almost came up," Matt explained.

"But it's also very metaphoric for the relationship dynamic that we have with her and had throughout this surrogacy journey as well. In that, it was funny and kind of random and chaotic, and all of those things that you hope it's going to be."

In Australia, surrogacy is an altruistic act, meaning you cannot pay someone to carry your child.

"In that sense, it makes it even more special," Matthew explained.

"The fact that [Phoebe was] willing to put her body, and health on the line to help [me] and Vince become parents, is such a beautiful acknowledgement of not only what she thinks of [us] as a couple, but also just a beautiful acknowledgement of how beautiful a person she is."

Phoebe offered to be the couple's surrogate. Image: Supplied.

Communication was paramount in their journey.

"We were really raw and honest and open about what our expectations were, what her expectations were, around the process, around the journey," Matthew said.

They discussed how they could support Phoebe throughout the pregnancy, right through to the delivery room. Matthew and Vince quickly realised that they were all aligned on many things, but difficult conversations were also part of the process.

It wasn't just about Matthew and Vince anymore; it was also about Phoebe and her husband, Pat.

"You can imagine anyone going through a pregnancy journey, the conversations that they would have with their significant other, and me and Vince are then having to have those similar conversations with someone who is our best friend and their husband," Matthew said.

"I think by the end of it, Phoebe had referenced us all three as her three husbands. And I think that's quite apt for describing how the relationship dynamic panned out through our journey."

Watch the trailer for Diary of a Birth. Post continues below.

The IVF rollercoaster.

Then came the IVF process.

"We had a family member of mine act as an egg donor, which was really special," Matthew said. Phoebe also had to undergo counselling and navigate a lot of policies and procedures to be approved as a surrogate.

Their first two embryo transfers didn't work, which was incredibly difficult.

"We worked and put so much energy and effort and love into getting to that point. And obviously, then having to deal with the reality of the first one not working, and then dealing with a chemical pregnancy, that took a toll on us, as it would anybody," Matthew said.

"But I think as well, when you're kind of staring down the barrel of having only X amount of embryos left — it's a lot of pressure, and obviously we're not able to control any of that as well. It was a scary position to be in."

Finally, on the third try, the embryo took, and they were pregnant with Archer. When they made it to that 12-week mark and finally heard his heartbeat for the first time, "it was the most amazing thing in the world."

"I don't think it's ever going to be something I will be able to forget," Matthew said.

Baby Archer. Image: Supplied.

"The baby's coming now."

Throughout Phoebe's pregnancy, Matthew and Vince were a fully-fledged part of their family. They spent so much time with them that their kids knew them as Uncle Matt and Uncle Vince.

"We were living as an extension to Pat and Phoebe's lives", Matthew said. It was so special, he added, "because she saw that devotion that we would provide our child, and she saw that the love that we had to give".

When the time came, Phoebe, Pat, and the kids were at home. Matthew and Vince were in South West Sydney, and the hospital was in Rockdale, a 45-minute drive away. Pat called and said, "You need to get to the hospital now."

They made it to the delivery suite just in time, as Phoebe was getting her epidural.

The epidural wasn't working properly, but Archer was ready to make his entrance. The midwife said, "It's too late for the epidural to be fixed. The baby's coming now, and you're going to have to do this."

Matthew said the panic on Phoebe's face — a culmination of love, guilt, hope, and fear — was life-altering.

"To see a friend go through that, [and] go through that for you, is something I'm never going to forget," he said. "You feel very powerless because you all you want to do is take their pain away. "

Phoebe held Archer to her chest after he was born. Image: Supplied.

Phoebe had joked from the beginning, "If I'm going through this for you, you are going to watch it."

So, Matthew was right next to Phoebe, holding her hand, with her husband on the other side, and Vince next to him throughout the labour. They took turns passing her ice chips and letting her squeeze their hands.

Within four or five contractions, Archer was delivered. He went straight onto Phoebe's chest.

"When he was on Phoebe's chest, obviously she had the opportunity to say hello and kind of also witness her achievement in being able to get to this final stage," Matt said. "[It] is something that is quite common in this surrogacy community, and it's definitely a part of the conversation."

Then Phoebe handed Archer to Matthew and Vince.

"It's such a beautiful moment that is filled with so much raw emotion, and I find it quite hard to articulate in a lot of ways, because you just have this overwhelming surge of love. And it feels like love in the most purest form," Matthew said.

"In an instant you have someone that you would lay your life down for," he added.

Phoebe will always be a part of Archer's life. Image: Supplied.

Today, "Auntie Phoebe" is someone who is, and always will be, a part of Archer's life and story. When they get together now, they reflect on the journey with so much love, but also so much laughter.

Now two years on from Archer's birth, the family could not be happier.

"Time takes on its own life form when you become a parent," Matthew said.

It's a journey that took them six years all up. But they wouldn't change a thing for the world.

"I think you know, I can't speak on behalf of Phoebe, but I know that she tells me it was one of the most rewarding things that she's done, and she's incredibly proud of seeing us as a family unit and knowing that she had a part in that."

Feature image: Supplied.