'It's over between me and The Wiggles. I'm handling it terribly.'

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Confession: I'm an absolute sucker for parenting 'last times'.

Whenever I watch one of those 'The last time I ever pick you up' videos, I'm a bawling mess. I was woefully unprepared for how horrific that oxytocin drop would be after the last breastfeed, and don't even get me started on the time my eldest suddenly said 'yellow' correctly. But here's one thing I wasn't expecting to be sad about: The last time I went to see The Wiggles.

That's right. Crammed between 13,500 fellow skivvy-wearers as the Rattlin' Bog reached its climax, tiny adoring fans either screaming with joy at The Tree of Wisdom or just screaming into the abyss, I suddenly felt it.

My youngest was frantically waving goodbye with her deliciously chubby little toddler wrists as The Big Red Car containing her heroes slowly left the stage. And I thought, "Yeah, this is probably the last time."

Look, I'm not comparing it to the aforementioned last breastfeed (seriously, why does nobody warn you about that?!), but me and The Wiggles have gone through some times, man. 

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For a very intense period of time, us parents let The Wiggles into our living room, sometimes several times a day. Suddenly, they're the top artist in our Spotify Wrapped (Fun fact: they're Australia's most-streamed local artist).

For two, maybe three years, you see these guys more than you see your own spouse. They become that mythical village you always heard about.

Need to soothe an epic temper tantrum? Wiggles. Need to make some lunch? Wiggles. Need the loo? Wiggles. 

For me, it started during COVID, when the world needed The Wiggles more than ever. Anthony's bagpipes brought many tears to my eyes as I missed my native Scotland during lockdown, and I was genuinely sad when former Yellow Wiggle Emma left the group. But it was during the next amalgamation of The Wiggles that my daughter Violet's affections really ramped up (exposure therapy perhaps?).

My Spotify top song was suddenly 'Hot Potato' and you betcha I cranked up 'Rock-A-Bye Your Bear' in the car on the reg to try and prevent a danger nap. 

But something else happens when your children are suitably obsessed with their music.  You become suitably obsessed with the personal lives of these individuals who're suddenly such a vital part of your day. 

The Wiggles are the Fleetwood Mac of the children's entertainment industry, if you will. And I became a woman possessed. Suddenly, I was on their Instragram pages, mining information and discovering all the relationships from past and present.

Yes, I really did need to get out more, but no, as an overstimulated mother of young kids, it was perfectly healthy to truly care about who Dorothy the Dinosaur was bumping uglies with. 

And, of course, with the newest era of Wiggles, came the arrival of walking thirst trap John. If you haven't fallen victim to a Big Strong John thirst trap on Instagram and immediately forwarded it to all your mum mates, you're a stronger woman than me. 

Seeing them for the first time in a packed Brisbane Entertainment Centre with Violet when she was two was honestly magical. She danced and laughed and soaked it all up. As her interest waned as she grew older, her younger sister Skye, 2, took the baton and I had to take her to see them too. The show paid tribute to the OG Wiggles and really showcased each of their individual talents. Seeing all the little kids (and parents!) dressed up and so genuinely excited is a joy.

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But, as the younger sister, Skye is definitely growing up faster than Violet. She wants to be like big sis and K-Pop Demon Hunters was dangerously close to taking my Spotify Wrapped top spot over The Wiggles this year. Fast-forward to next year and I fear they might not be there at all. And, shock horror, it might accurately display my actual musical taste. Out of all of the 'lasts', this was definitely not one I was expecting to be bummed about. 

So, Wiggly friends, I write this in sincere gratitude to Anthony, Simon, Lachie, Tsehay, Evie, Lucia, Caterina, and, of course, John. We had an intense (albeit one sided) relationship for a good few years there. But it's time to let you go in the knowledge that the next gen of new mums are going to be very safe in your finger wiggling hands.

Thanks for the mems, guys, I owe you more than you know. 

Feature Image: Supplied.