One Dad’s searingly honest experience of parenthood – in pictures.

When you ask new parents about their baby, you anticipate glistening eyes and the use of phrases like “miracle of life” and “never expected to love something so much”. But what happens when a baby’s arrival isn’t accompanied by that immediate joy, and is instead a source of bewilderment, resentment or just complete disinterest?

Phillip Toledano, a New York-based photographer, was never particularly interested in having children. When his daughter Loulou entered the world, he struggled to establish an emotional connection to the “alien” that bellowed all night and caused his wife Carla to “vanish”.

In his ‘The Reluctant Father’ series, Toledano pairs intimate photos of Loulou and Carla with candid admissions about how his feelings as a father evolved from “detached observer” to “eager participant” over time. At times his words are almost shockingly honest, but by the final photo slides Toledano’s deepening love for his adorable daughter leaps off the screen.

Have a look through this gallery to witness the journey.

You can see the full series of photos, and read more about Toledano’s work, at The Reluctant Father.

This post was first published on iVillage.com.au and has been republished with full permission.