This post was originally published on Role Reboot and has been republished here with full permission.
By MAVIS KING
A case for balancing instinct and logic when choosing a partner who will father your children.
I had a baby with the wrong man. It’s as simple as that, and what a terrible mistake it is to have made.
So I warn you, keep your wits about you when considering who will father your children. You need to make a good decision, because you’ll live with it forever.
Years ago as I entered my mid-30s my mother began to talk of Mr Good Enough. The fact that I had not settled into a committed relationship or marriage was assumed to be due to a selection issue on my side. “Are you being too picky?” a colleague inquired when we caught up for lunch.
I never had a list of qualities I desired, no stern non-negotiables were asserted when I began dating someone. I wasn’t seeking wealth or a way of life. I could provide that for myself.
I was after something else. I wanted that feeling, that definitive moment when I just knew the person was the one for me.
As more friends got married and settled into long-term relationships, when even my non-maternal friends, the ones who had never shown interest in children, began to have their own, and when I felt uncomfortable at work functions to state that I was still single, it dawned on me that I may have had it all wrong.