
That’s me. The one in the navy swimmers. I actually think I look pretty good for 49 – and to tell you the truth, I should have looked great. I’d been training for this moment for six months. And talking about it for about 15 years.

You're right - the picture shows a lot. Too much, many would argue, and they wouldn't be all wrong. I'm certainly no Elle Macpherson in Barbados. There's a bit of cellulite and yes, I'm lily white. That's how I roll. By this stage, I've been bitten by about, oh, 653 sea lice and the itches are about to start. I don't much care because at last, after talking about it and saying I was going to do it and then never actually doing it, I am finally and officially reinventing myself as an ocean swimmer.
You might have picked the spot - the warm, flat water of Noosa, perfect for an ocean swimming novice. The Noosa 1000 - my event - is broken into age divisions. I was at the very top of mine in terms of years, which I think accounts for my poor placing just a few rungs from the bottom in terms of times. But who cares? Because this picture proves I'm an ocean swimmer.