'How I'm trying to teach my son to be a good bloke when the internet wants him to be the opposite.'

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Over four years ago now, I wrote about the gender disappointment I felt when I found out the baby I was growing had a penis.

Now, I've written and spoken about some pretty shockingly vulnerable topics in my years, but none have ever, and since have never, hit a chord with so many people.

I received thousands of DMs, thanking me for sharing something other women felt ashamed to feel, for making them feel seen, and for telling me about their own experience with such a complicated subject.

And to this day, I will always have a sore heart for those who are hurt by those expressing gender disappointment, because I understand that it would be like a slap in the face to some people. But the positive impact vastly outweighed the negative, which is why I don't regret sharing how I felt.

Watch: We discuss how to raise boys to become good men. Post continues after video.

And four years later, I'm not worried at all that my glorious little boy will one day learn that mummy wanted him to have a vagina. When it comes down to it, gender disappointment is actually wrapped up in stereotypes we've attached to our child's sex organs thanks to our internalised bias.

There's not a chance he will feel unwanted or unloved, because that child couldn't possibly be more adored. I was meant to be his mother. And just like the advice I quoted in the original piece, there are enough incredible women in the world, but not enough incredible men, and I can do a damn fine job of raising one.

In Australia, 23% of women have experienced intimate partner violence. The President of the United States of America is a convicted sexual predator. Globally, nearly 2.4 billion women lack economic rights equal to those of men. There are so many bad men online and in power.

As the mother to a boy who will grow up with inherently more privilege than a lot of the population, it's my job to make sure he's a good bloke without an iota of misogyny in his bones.

Because if my son ends up ranking girls at a swanky private school with like-minded twats, I've failed more dismally than at anything else. And if you're also a parent to a son, so have you.

We discussed raising boys on a recent episode of Eat, Sleep, Repeat, and I was actually so nervous about releasing it. I've never claimed to be an expert and happily discuss many a parenting topic on the pod, where I really have no business having an opinion. But this is just SO IMPORTANT and is something I feel really passionate about, so I was nervous about giving poor advice or saying the wrong thing.

But it turned out to be a great chat with my guest co-host, Beth (who has FOUR BOYS), about how we're raising a cohort of good blokes.

In doing so, we hope our daughters won't have men making decisions about what they can and can't do with their own bodies. That our daughters won't have their lives ended by a man, for simply existing, at a rate of almost one per week across Australia. That our daughters won't be walking home with keys between their fingers, jumping at a slight movement in the shadows.

There are plenty of ways to raise boys, and every kid is different. But for me, some non-negotiables may seem silly or small, but count towards raising emotionally intelligent, kind and respectful men.

Kelly with her son, Lenny, when he was still a newborn. Image: Supplied.

Since the day we brought Len home, we've made sure to challenge stereotypes that specific colours, feelings, phrases, toys, etc., are "just for girls." When he was a baby, I dressed him in gender-neutral clothes, always shopping in both the girl and boy sections.

I wasn't about to dress him in sequins to try to prove how progressive I am or push an agenda, but I also didn't buy him things with trucks or dinosaurs on them until he started asking for them (alas).

Lenny would never be told, "boys don't cry", "don't be a sook", or similar. Lenny can feel whatever emotion he's experiencing.

Sadness or frustration released through tears is not an emotion reserved for females; proven by a large group of emotionally stunted boomer old dudes who don't even shed a tear at funerals developed through decades of suppressed feelings.

Kelly with her son, Lenny. Image: Supplied.

Where possible, boys need GOOD male-identifying role models. As much as they need a bevvy of feminist female queens teaching them right from wrong, it is essential they have men modelling respectful behaviour.

For example, my son is growing up in a male/female parent household, and I make sure he sees that both parents work, contribute to household chores, cook, and look after the pets. I don't want him growing up thinking specific tasks belong to the 'girl' in the household.

He will also never hear my husband Luke raise his voice to me, intimidate me in any way or treat me in any way that isn't respectful. I don't want him seeing behaviour that could become his barometer of 'normal' in a household, because kids are sponges. 

A lot of the work I do with Len will be as he gets older and starts widening his peer group and is more susceptible to harmful temptations and pressures of modern culture, so I would also love to hear from other parents about positive ways they're raising their boys, and tips we can implement at home.

You can listen to our full podcast conversation on Eat, Sleep, Repeat below.

Want to learn more ways of how to raise boys? Read these next:

• 'I've spoken to over 35,000 boys in Australian schools. This is what I see.'

• 'They serve no one.' The 5 myths we need to stop teaching our sons.

• 'I teach young men about respect. Here's what I tell them about domestic violence.'

Feature image: Supplied.