Last year, Rachel Griffiths disappeared from the spotlight. She just told us why.

We all know and love Rachel Griffiths.

Whether you first fell for her in Muriel's Wedding, got hooked during Six Feet Under, or more recently caught her in Total Control, she's been delivering incredible performances for decades.

Beyond the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, Griffiths, like so many Gen X women, has juggled a multitude of roles: acclaimed actress, outspoken activist, devoted mother, and innovative creator.

But even the most successful women hit their "peak hell mid" sometimes. And for Griffiths? That moment came in 2020.

At the height of everything, Griffiths chose to press pause. Speaking on Mamamia's MID podcast, the actress got brutally honest about that period of her life.

Listen to Rachel Griffiths' chat with Mamamia's Holly Wainwright on MID. Post continues below.

Midlife can be overwhelming at the best of times, let alone during the pandemic. Griffiths didn't sugarcoat this.

"I think 2020 was probably my peak hell, mid," she said. "We had ageing parents who weren't doing well, my husband's father in nursing care… kind of feeling like you're failing your parents. You're kind of failing your kids."

Like many parents, Griffiths struggled to support her children through the abrupt shift to remote learning, while also grappling with the physical and emotional shifts of perimenopause. "There was no fabulousness," she lamented, recalling how even donning a glamorous gold dress felt strangely out of place amidst the daily chaos.

It was a period of intense pressure, as Griffiths navigated border restrictions while keeping her projects afloat.

"My attachment was kind of critical to finance, and for me to pull out of them may mean that crew for that was their only job in 18 months," she said.

So, she worked. And she worked hard.

"As soon as borders were open for a second, I had the kids on a plane," she said. "I hadn't seen my husband and son for about five months, which is the longest we've ever been apart."

Watch the trailer for Rachel Griffiths' new show, Madam. Post continues below.

Swapping 'could you' for 'what do you'.

Last year, she knew something had to change. Enter: the sabbatical from everything.

Griffiths and her husband decided to prioritise their relationship by taking long-service leave. Inspired by her teacher mother's lifelong aspirations for that "gold at the end of the rainbow", Griffiths recognised the urgent need to reconnect with her partner before it was too late.

"If we don't actually hang out in a non-transactional way," she explained, "we'll be those couples [who], as soon as the last kid gets their VCE exams... we're divorcing."

They took three months and went to Europe with one rule in place: "You couldn't say, 'Could ya? Would ya? Did ya? Have ya?'"

They banned all those annoying domestic questions we're all guilty of:

"Did you remember to…"

"Could you grab the kids?"

"Have you done the…"

Instead, they switched to questions that prompted deeper connection.

"What do you feel like for dinner? What did you think of this? … More open questions," she explained.

And when her agents tried to tempt her back to work? Her response was pure gold: "Unless it's White Lotus season three, don't call me."

MID host Holly Wainwright with Rachel Griffiths. Image: Mamamia.

Finding power in the female gaze.

For Griffiths, midlife is not an endpoint, but an opportunity for rediscovery and renewal.

She says that "perimenopausal rage" everyone talks about is really just "the last burst of testosterone to remake your life if you don't like what it looks like".

"If you don't like the job you're in, you're up the corporate ladder, you don't like the husband, the country, anything — this is the last energy you will have in a fierce way to rebuild your life if you take that choice."

These days, Griffiths is taking on roles she previously wouldn't touch — like playing a madam in a new comedy based on a real-life New Zealand mum Antonia Murphy, who started an ethical escort agency.

Deborah Mailman and Rachel Griffiths in Total Control. Image: ABC.

"When my agent kind of said, start the process. I'm like, I don't think I'm interested… they're always so icky, and I just feel like they're so male gaze," she said.

But once she heard more, she was sold.

"One of the great things [Antonia] says in [her] book, she said, 'We don't sell sex, we treat loneliness', which is, as we know, an epidemic," Griffiths said.

"I said, 'Oh, this, this is brilliant, because I've just never seen a female gaze one."

And if that's not the kind of fresh perspective we need more of on our screens, we don't know what is.

You can follow Rachel Griffiths here and check out Madam here.

Feature image: Getty.