'The 7 questions I asked my boyfriend before we decided to move in together.'

The shoe was the final straw.

You see, my partner and I have been living between two places for the past three years, and for a while it was doable.

And then there was the night I stayed over at his place and when I went to get dressed for work in the morning, I realised the dress I’d brought had a gigantic hole in the back.

Cool.

And then there’s been forgetting hair elastics. And moisturiser. And having to use his crappy shampoo that makes my hair feel sticky. 

But it was the day I was rushing out his front door to get to work for an important meeting and realised I’d only packed a single shoe that I made the decision. That was it. All my shoes need to be in the one place at all times.

“We. Are. Moving. In. Together,” I said through gritted teeth, and he nodded in agreement. He didn’t want to be seen with a woman hopping around in one shoe. It was humiliating.

And now, at 29 years old, I’m about to live with a partner for the very first time.

But because we grew up in the era of Brené Brown and Oprah and most importantly Dr Phil, we were both very aware that we needed to have some conversations. You know, the tough ones that fake psychologists are always talking about.

So here are the seven very important questions I asked my boyfriend before downloading a real estate app, and heading straight to Fantastic Furniture to start my new life.

1. Are we getting a dog immediately or shall we wait six months?

We needed to talk about the dog… situation. He has family dogs. My roommates have a dog. And now we’re moving into a dogless house which sounds a little bit like hell.

We decided that we’d wait six months and enjoy our beautiful furniture without the additional dog hair.

But we both agreed: A dog was coming.

(Remind me to get that in writing.)

2. Will you be cooking me dinner every night, yes/no?

This was followed by a “please? Nah seriously, please?”

Cooking is his domain. I promised that I’d clean up every night if he just did the cooking because otherwise we’d live on Vegemite on toast which doesn’t provide enough of a variety of nutrients and we’d end up with some awful disease.

I think he’s convinced.

3. How are we doing the whole… money thing?

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Money. Makes. Me. Anxious.

I had questions about bond, rent, furniture and household expenses. We decided to split the first two down the middle. The second two get a little more complicated.

As for furniture, we’re keeping a tally on an app of who spends what, and then we’ll split it at the end. But if anything goes wrong, I’m keeping the lounge. Can’t remember if we agreed on that, but that’s the plan.

On the same app, we’ll enter household expenses, and split them evenly.

As two people who work full time, the last thing we want is any resentment building up over money or spending. Yuck. Instead, we’re just going to keep things even, and if he wants to spend $400 on something ridiculous, then all power to him.

4. Can we keep your bed?

I have a double bed that simply does not accommodate us both. We’ll be keeping his bed.

As for the rest of the furniture, we’re in the process of shopping and it’s by far the funnest part of the entire experience. He has taste and I definitely do not, so to watch him put a little home together for us with things like rugs and art and side tables is a dream.

I keep walking into Fantastic Furniture and yelling “I WANT ALL OF IT” and he has to calmly remind me that we don’t need 515 dining tables. There are only two of us.

This is why we make such a good team.

5. Are you sweet with me going to bed at 1am?

We’re going to need to sort out the… lamp… situation. Our sleeping patterns are completely opposite which probably isn’t ideal but I don’t think I could go to bed before 11pm if I tried.

He has agreed to cop it. And he won’t wake me up before my alarm. He has been ordered to tip toe. 

6. What are your very worst neuroses?

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We’ve decided to be very honest with each other about what we find… very annoying.

The biggest one for my partner would be my staining of the sheets with fake tan and you know what? Fair call. I now have a special sheet I wrap myself in and he is satisfied.

He also knows he’s going to have to stop a) rearranging the dishwasher after I’ve stacked it because it’s passive aggressive, b) shouting “FEEDBACK” and then telling me how I didn’t place the pillows perfectly after I made the bed even though I tried my best and c) throwing things like my bobby pins in the bin because he considers them clutter.

7. Seriously though, what do we do if we break up?

Simple. I get the couch.

He’s claimed the dining table. And the coffee table.

Dammit.

OK, tell us your tips for moving out with a partner. Like, all we need to know – comment below.

And if you’re looking for good quality furniture that’s great value, Fantastic Furniture has all your nesting needs covered.