'My partner and I started asking each other these 5 questions every January. It's worked wonders.'

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Every January, my partner and I sit down and ask these five questions to each other, and it has worked wonders for starting our year in the right mindset. We use these questions to reflect, highlight goals, and set the direction of our year.

Pre-toddler life, we would maybe go away somewhere nice for a night and have beautiful, calm surroundings to enjoy while we thought through these things. Or if the budget was tight, a nice brunch and a day off from the usual grind.

But now, we're more likely to be found talking through these questions across multiple nap times, while pushing the swing or doing the dishes. Whatever the setting is, asking ourselves these questions and making sure we are on the same page has been invaluable. 

Watch Celeste Barber on the value of a supportive partner, on the No Filter podcast. Post continues below.

So, what are the five questions?

Well, the first two look backwards — we list five things we have been grateful for in the past year. Then we list five things we found hard. This helps us identify what did and did not work in our lives in the past 12 months.

Sometimes the things we list are events or circumstances we had no control over, but there's power in naming and acknowledging what was less than ideal.

The next three questions are really simple: where do we want to prioritise our time, money, and relationships this year?

In the time category, we talk about our work/life balance, how much we are getting quality time together and with our daughter, and what needs to change or shift to make this year work for those priorities. For example, if we want to prioritise Saturday for fun outings, we need a plan to be more on top of housework during the week. If my husband and I both needed more time for our work, we would look at what days our daughter is doing childcare. 

For money, we make a basic budget — we've found the government Money Smart budget planner is a great tool to ensure more money is coming in than is going out, and then look at where we want to prioritise our spending for the year.

Do we want to put money aside for a holiday? Are there causes we want to be financially supporting? Do I need to spend money on coffee and little treats to make my parenting days easier? (The answer to that one is always yes).

We might decide to cancel subscriptions or plan for when we want to spend more money on activities for our daughter, but we keep our plans flexible and check-in with each other as we go — there are always unexpected expenses, and as a freelancer, my income can vary from month to month. But knowing we have agreed on the priorities for our money for the year takes a lot of stress out of it. 

Finally, we discuss the wider relationships, families, friends and community we are in, and where we want to put our time and energy outside our home and family this year.

We're involved in things like playgroup and church, our neighbours have a strong community vibe, and our daughter has childcare friends, and we both have parents and siblings and other extended family we love and want to stay in touch with. But we can't do everything at the same intensity all the time, so it's helpful to agree what our focus will be for the year.

Maybe particular friends are going through a hard time, or a particular group that needs more volunteer hours. Maybe we want to focus on strengthening grandparent or cousin relationships for our daughter or do better at staying in touch with long-distance friends.

Again, there's no right or wrong answer, and the answer can be flexible and change — but knowing what the goal is helps us plan our weekends and holidays and catch-up. It's a prompt of who I should be messaging to organise playdates or video calls or sending photos of whatever latest shenanigans our toddler is up to. 

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So, these are our five questions to hack your way to a more prioritised, goal-driven year — five things from 2025 you are grateful for, five things from 2025 that were hard, and what your priorities for 2026 will be for time, money and relationships. 

It's been interesting seeing our priorities change as our lives have changed, but also lovely to notice what we are grateful for remains mostly consistent.

It's a great way to remind ourselves how lucky we are, without pretending everything is fine or that there's anything wrong with changing something that isn't working.

Feature image: Supplied.