'I get paid to talk, but I'm terrified of public speaking. Here's how I fake confidence.'

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Here's a snapshot of my job description: I host three podcasts and record eight to 10 episodes a week. I am paid, quite literally, to talk.

And yet, if you put the words "public speaking" or "presentation" in a calendar invite, I will immediately break out in hives and consider faking a minor illness.

I'm convinced it's one of the most nerve-wracking experiences a person can be forced to go through.

On my work and career podcast, BIZ, I chat with my co-host Lisa Lee, who is an actual expert in this space. She's an organisational coach, a former Head of People and Culture, and someone who went to NIDA to get better at public speaking.

Listen to our full episode on how to speak with confidence on the BIZ podcast. Post continues below.

If that wasn't enough, she also spent nine years in weekly elocution classes as a kid.

My training? My mother, who is also a very confident speaker, forcing me to rehearse my school speeches in the living room while I tried to avoid it at all costs.

We are not the same.

But our recent chat about this made me realise that pretty much everyone is freaking out.

Lisa recently did a survey on her LinkedIn to find out what freaks people out the most about public speaking. The results were basically a checklist of my personal flaws: 35% of people said they rush and speak too fast, 27% said they say "um" too much, 21% go completely blank, and 17% ramble and lose their point.

I'm pretty sure I've managed to do all four in a single sentence. I say 'um' and 'like' so much in my daily life, I feel naked.

So, because I'm not a NIDA graduate and don't have nine years of elocution under my belt, I've had to develop my own, slightly unhinged methods for faking confidence.

That, combined with Lisa's tried and tested strategies has allowed us to develop some fool proof tips and tricks on how to sound confident when you speak.

Watch: The BIZ podcast answers listeners top public speaking concerns. Post continues below.

The 'um' dilemma.

As mentioned before, I am a chronic 'um' and 'like' user. Lisa (our expert), says when you feel the urge to say 'um', you should just... pause. Embrace the silence. Let it be punctuation.

I find this terrifying. Two seconds of silence feels like two hours.

My workaround? I've actively trained myself to replace 'um' with 'you know?'.

It sounds more inclusive, like I'm checking in to make sure the audience is following along, but really I'm just buying my brain 1.5 seconds to catch up.

Strategic blindness.

This is my main tip, and I'll admit it's probably a massive red flag.

If I'm presenting in a big room or on a stage, I just... don't wear my distance glasses.

My logic is flawless: If I can't see the exact moment the person in row three checks their phone or the person in row five starts yawning, did it really happen? No.

As far as I'm concerned, they are just a sea of supportive, engaged blurs.

The 'one desperate friend' technique.

This one I learned the hard way.

I was accepting an award once (which should have been a low-stakes speech) and the entire table right in front of me was just talking loudly, cutting their steaks, and completely ignoring me.

I went totally blank. I just froze.

My quick in the moment fix for those extremely rude moments is to find the one person in the room who looks like they're listening. Or, at the very least, faking it well (bless those people).

Lock eyes with them. You're speaking only to them now. It's your own private, slightly desperate, TED Talk.

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The one-hand-in-pocket.

What do I do with my hands? Do I wave them around? Clasp them? Gesture widely? Keep them together awkwardly in front of my crotch like I'm desperate to use the bathroom?

Lisa, bringing her public speaking expertise to the table, says the ultimate power move is putting one hand in your pocket. Two hands looks like you're weirdly casual, but one hand? That's confidence. That's "Oh, this? I just threw this together."

The 'fight or flight' breath.

So you've started speaking but have now noticed that your… rushing. It's like your brain can't keep up with your mouth and suddenly you're speaking at 1.5x speed.

That, my friend, is your adrenaline kicking in. It's a full-on fight or flight response. Your body is basically saying, "Get this over with so we can get off the stage and run away".

To fix this, you have to physically calm your nervous system. Lisa swears by box breathing.

It's simple: breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, breathe out for four counts, and hold for four counts.

Do this a few times before you go on. It grounds you and stops your brain from trying to eject you from the situation.

Jokes aside, the only real way to get better is (and I hate to be that guy) by practising.

Lisa calls it the 'Public Speaking Confidence Ladder'. You wouldn't just wake up and run a marathon— You have to build that muscle.

You start small, on the low-stakes rung. Challenge yourself to be the first person to speak in your next Zoom meeting (she calls this a 'contribution challenge'). Or, record yourself on voice notes to see what you actually sound like (yes, it's cringe. Do it anyway).

Then you move to mid-stakes. Try presenting for just two minutes without any notes. Or (and this is my personal nightmare) actively ask questions at the end.

The truth is, you will fumble. You will say 'um'. You will probably go blank at least once. But the more you do it, the less traumatic those one-off fumbles feel.

I've been doing this for years. I've talked in front of two people, and I've talked in front of 2000 people. I still get nervous every single time. Nerves just mean you're excited, or you actually care about what you're saying.

The goal isn't to stop being nervous; it's to stop letting the nerves lead you.

Good luck. I believe in you. You've got this.

Want more from BIZ? Check out these episodes:

• The workaholic test. Hidden signs you're trapped (and how to get out).

• How to actually get people to listen to your ideas.

• Sarah Harden: The career playbook of Reese Witherspoon's ex-CEO.

If you want more from Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature image: Supplied.