'I wrote a book about sex dolls. What I discovered was far more disturbing than I thought.'

Are sex doll owners just lonely men seeking companionship and pursuing their hobbies?

My work in this field – including in my just released book Sex Dolls, Robots and Woman Hating published by Spinifex Press – documents a far more disturbing reality. While sex doll advocates claim they will have many benefits – for men, that is – there is very little consideration of the harm to women and girls. 

The growing trade in lifelike, replica women and girls marketed for men’s on-demand sexual use has serious, real-world consequences for all women and girls. 

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From women who have been devastated to learn of sex dolls made in their likeness, women whose husbands chose their sex doll over them, and child sex abuse dolls modelled on little girls, toddlers and infants, we have to ask who benefits from these products?

Setting aside the delusion that a man can have a ‘relationship’ with a female-shaped piece of silicone, we need to be honest about what these products are, and what they represent. 

A sex doll made in the female form functions as a woman or girl as an object to be owned and used. One that is constantly sexually available, has no consciousness, no voice and no autonomy, that exists to be sexually penetrated, and can be packed away after the user is done.

Sex doll defenders include men’s rights activists and incels, who believe dolls are superior to women.

"Imagine, a meathole that doesn’t nag, make demands, or pass along STDs ... Women will become obsolete," one man wrote in an online forum.

"Sex dolls are a better option than women. There really isn’t much difference in terms of what they offer, but the sex doll will give it to you 100 per cent of the time, no questions asked," wrote another. 

Doll advocates fail to consider how sex dolls could further entrench sexist attitudes towards women, and men’s entitlement to sex, and how these products contribute to rape culture and men’s violence against women. Men’s sexual preferences are privileged over the status of women and girls. 

If women are regarded as objects, things, not fully human, then it’s easy to justify our abuse and mistreatment. 

The trade in sex dolls modelled on the bodies of women and girls is in direct opposition to efforts to fight this violence.

Some sex doll owners admit their desire to practice violence was their primary motivation for buying a doll. They wanted a lifelike, female-bodied doll on which they could perform acts of sexualised violence, BDSM and torture, to practice tying a woman up rendering her “helpless”, and acting out detailed sex slavery scenarios. Some were so rough that they broke their dolls.

There are a growing number of cases where abandoned sex dolls are initially mistaken for dead women and girls. Some were found decapitated, mutilated, and ripped apart.  

Contrary to the claims of sex doll advocates, providing realistic replica women for men to enact violence doesn’t prevent violence, it is violence in and of itself. The violence isn’t simulated, it’s not a ‘fantasy’, it’s real – and men are carrying out this violence on a silicone body that looks and feels like a real woman. 

So they are having the experience of getting off on violence against a woman – who provides no emotional feedback – which is reinforced by an orgasm. They create porn from these acts which they share with other doll owners online. 

Some doll owners report using their dolls as practice for sexual relations with women. These men relate to their dolls as though they were women. They do to their dolls what they want to do to women.  

Women and girls are also directly harmed by men’s use of sex dolls. In online accounts, women have shared their hurt and distress after their male partner purchased a sex doll. This was often framed as a way to “spice up their sex life” but in reality, was intended for his own personal use. 

Some described being subjected to gaslighting if they expressed discomfort about their partner’s doll. Many were deeply upset, but felt they had no right to object. “I can’t get the thought out of my head that [is] cheating, even though I know it’s not real,” wrote one. 

When husbands preferred using the doll to intimacy with their wives, the women were left humiliated. They described insecurities about their bodies and sexual performance, feeling they couldn’t compete with a 'perfect' sex doll. 

Some men used the threat of purchasing a sex doll to coerce their wives into unwanted sex. Others introduced a doll as a ‘baby step’ to get their reluctant wife to agree to a threesome. 

Sex dolls are also being made in the likeness of specific women without their knowledge. One woman learned of the sex doll made in her likeness and given her name after the manufacturer posted a link to her Instagram account identifying her. Another learned about a sex doll made to look like her after the man who created it sent her a message on Instagram, along with photos, describing just how much he enjoyed using it. She became physically ill. 

Doll manufacturers receive requests from male customers for dolls made in the likeness of women known to them – their mate’s girlfriend, their next-door neighbour, or a woman they have a crush on.

With technological advancements, including virtual reality and deepfakes (where one person’s likeness can digitally be superimposed over another’s), the ways in which women can be harmed through sex doll technology are constantly growing.    

Unfortunately, even children are fair game in the global trade in sex dolls. Dolls modelled on the bodies of little girls, toddlers and infants marketed for men’s sexual use are a growing threat to girls. 

These, too, can be made in the likeness of a specific child. It’s already happening. 

A male buyer can submit a photo of a little girl, and a doll with a penetrable vagina, mouth and anus will be made in her likeness. 

While child sex abuse dolls are illegal in Australia, Australian Border Force has reported a 653 per cent increase in detections of child sex abuse dolls over the last two years.

As a culture, we need to decide what we value, and where our priorities truly lie. Do we endorse men’s sexual entitlement or the human rights of women and girls? It can’t be both. 

Caitlin Roper is an activist, writer and Campaigns Manager at Collective Shout: for a world free of sexploitation, a grassroots campaigning movement against the objectification of women and sexualisation of girls in media, advertising and popular culture. Her book Sex Dolls, Robots and Woman Hating: The Case for Resistance is out now from Spinifex Press. 

Image: Supplied. 

Feature Image: Sex Dolls, Robots and Woman Hating: The Case for Resistance book cover.