'My friend told me she was pregnant. She won't talk to me after my reaction.'

After a contentious reaction to her pregnancy announcement, Sadie threatened to cut Bella* out of her life.

Bella – a 22-year-old university student – is surrounded by LGBT friends who are in queer relationships and, according to her, "there is rarely a pregnancy scare".

In the 10 years that she has known Sadie, 31 (a heterosexual woman), the mother-to-be "has never had a serious or long term relationship".

"She has always said she never wants kids and never wants to settle down," Bella wrote on the sub-reddit r/AmITheAsshole.

"Two weeks ago we didn't talk for three days and I was getting worried about her," she continued. "Then she texted me, randomly at 3am: 'I'm pregnant....'."

Here's where the controversy starts. Given this context, Bella's first instinct wasn't to offer congratulations, but rather to gauge how Sadie was feeling about the news. She reacted with surprise and curiosity rather than immediate celebration.

"I responded 'Oh shit! Are we happy or sad about this? Who's the father?' Because I didn't want to celebrate too soon as everything I've known about her makes me think she wouldn't be happy about this," Bella explained.

She didn't hear from Sadie for 24 hours, until the 31-year-old called to "chew (her) out".

"(Sadie asked) why couldn't I just be happy for her and that it is really rude and disrespectful to ask the questions I did," Bella wrote on reddit.

She countered that none of her other friends would be happy about it, and that Sadie has always spoken about not wanting kids.

"I just wanted to make sure I was reacting properly, and (Sadie) didn't sound positive about it in her message," she added.

Watch what I wish I knew about my first trimester. Post continues after video.

"She said I was psychoanalysing her and she's an adult so she can do whatever she wants, and that if I'm going to be negative she doesn't need me in her life," Bella wrote.

"If she'd told me she was happy about it, I would've been happy for her and supportive. I just didn't know."

Before hanging up, Sadie told Bella that she was the first person she had confided in because she had "trusted her".

She and Sadie haven't spoken since that phone call. Now she is worried she has lost a close friend.

Bella wrote into Reddit to ask them if she is the 'asshole' in this situation. 

"I'm worried I've lost a close friend over this, we've never fought like this before, but also idk if what I said was so wrong so I just wanted to get an outside opinion," she wrote. Naturally, many redditors came to her aid. 

"Given the closeness of your relationship and her stance on motherhood and relationships, and the fact that she sent this at 3am, (ie during the bad news hours) you asking what you did was perfectly reasonable," the top comment read.

"Sadie is likely hormonal and super anxious about all this so I'm not super surprised at a reaction like this," another added. "[Bella] isn't judging, but friend is probably expecting judgment from somewhere and then projecting that."

Another suggested rewording the question in the future, writing: "Just say something like 'Wow, that's huge. How are you feeling?' Gives them the opportunity to say how they feel without feeling judged."

"Not the asshole," a third added. "Although asking about the father would generally be an asshole question outside of an extremely close friendship."

"Those are normal questions," a further user added. "The only time I'd say those are not great questions are when it is someone who is actively trying to get pregnant. Your questions weren't wrong, you simply wanted to know where she was so you could respond appropriately."

Feature Image: Getty

*Names have been changed for privacy.