"Don't judge me but... I don't follow any of the pregnancy advice."

There’s no proof anyways.

If one more person either rubs my belly or tells me what I should and shouldn’t be doing while pregnant, my hormones might just get the better of me.

I’m 6 months pregnant. And from the 2 month mark (I couldn’t wait the whole 3 months before telling people), I have been inundated with advice.

“Don’t do this.”

“Do this. But not like that.”

“You don’t want to harm the baby do you?”

Of course I bloody well don’t want to harm my baby. But it seems like everything I do and don’t do is slowly destroying my future child’s life. And I am just so over it.

It first started when I told colleagues at work that I was pregnant. Unfortunately, at the time, I was also holding my regular skim latte. “Oh, you’re going to have to give that up now,” they said as they pointed at the only thing that gets me through the day.

My colleagues seem very distressed to know that I haven’t given up my morning coffee. Why? Because all the baby books and research give conflicting advice on whether or not one cup will make a big difference. Until they get their facts right, I’m holding on to my life line.

Then it was the high heels. Apparently, wearing heels kills babies. Seriously? I’ve been wearing heals for 12 years. I’m a proficient wearer of the heels and I will continue to wear heels until I don’t want to because it is uncomfortable for me.

The other day, I was on the bus sitting on the bus (thank you lovely person who got up for me) and I started sipping on some Coke. The look the lady sitting next to me was unbelievable.

It took all my will power to not turn to her and let her know that it is either me sipping on some Coke, or I will be vomiting in her lap. That fizzy goodness (which I only started drinking now that I'm pregnant) keeps my all-day everyday nausea under control, especially while on a jerking bus.

Oh, and then my mum sends me this article about how you're not supposed to drink 3 months before you get pregnant. Bit late Mum, considering that we conceived while we were both extremely drunk.

My mum has a huge problem with me drinking one or two glasses of wine a week when my husband and I have our regular date night (he feels weird having a beer on his own at the restaurant). Again, until the experts decide once and for all, it's fine with me. (Also, very hypocritical from my mum who I know drank while she was pregnant with me.)

And if my mother-in-law found out that I take sleeping pills every once in a while, she would hit the roof. Not that she has the right to. My doctor knows that I take them because I've been struggling with sleep and she says it's fine. But my mother-in-law doesn't shut up about the effects of medication on her grandchild. The other day she even mentioned that I should not take the bus to work because I might breath in the fumes of the passing buses. FFS.

I can't believe I have another 3 bloody months of this. Don't people know that just because they had a baby doesn't make them an expert on all things pregnancy?

Please tell me it stops (or how I can get people to keep their ridiculous advice to themselves).

What was the most annoying thing about pregnancy for you?

If, like this reader, you have a dilemma that you would like advice about, please email info@themotherish.com with Don’t Judge Me in the subject field. You will be contacted before publication, and your identity will be protected.

Want more? Try:

“Don’t judge me but… I question my working mummy friend’s decision.”

“Don’t judge me but… I don’t find my pregnant wife sexy. At all.”

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