So, you think you have a praise kink? Here's what to do with it.

Who doesn't love a compliment?

Taking a moment to say "You're doing a damn good job" can go a damn long way in a workplace... but what about in the bedroom?

While dirty talk has gotten a bit of a reputation for toying with the negative (calling someone a dirty s**t or getting them to beg for more), there's a side of this love language that is finally getting the air time it deserves. This side champions compliments, encourages adoration, and demands words of affirmation. It lives in a soft, sultry and big-headed corner of fetish, and it's called praise kink.

Watch: How are women having sex? The juiciest results from the Mamamia Sex Survey. Post continues after video.

You've probably spotted the term 'praise kink' floating around on TikTok, but it's not some new innovation. In fact, the praise dynamic is a longtime mainstay of romance novels and has had people bowing down to their IRL partners in adoration for decades.

But what does it really mean to have a praise kink? And what do you do with it once you realise it's what you've always wanted in bed?

We're gonna unpack every inch of this kink, right here, right now. 

So, what is a praise kink?

Okay, let's strip this back to the basics.

A praise kink, or a worship kink, is one that encourages positive feedback and a tsunami of compliments to be offered up in a sexual scenario. This could range from a preference to an absolute necessity for orgasm – sliding it into the fetish realm.

By sharing that you have a praise kink, you're essentially asking your partner (or partners) to provide positive reinforcement in order to drive up your desire and arousal.

Most of this will be actioned through words of affirmation and potentially paired with smatterings of physical touch. Think, "My god you've got the world's sexiest ass," while having the aforementioned ass grabbed.

Is praise kink part of the BDSM community?

When someone utters the acronym BDSM (which officially stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism, in case you didn't know), images of leather, latex, whips and chains crop up – likely in a seedy, damp dungeon setting.

And while that is a worthy corner of the BDSM community, it is not the be-all and end-all. 

In fact, kinks are defined as "any intimate activity that falls outside our typical script of how we express our sexuality, intimacy, affection," so there's a vast spectrum of inclusions within that world.

And one of them is a praise kink.

Sure, it may be one of the softer, more positive-leaning kinks out there, but it's still a part of the BDSM world. Especially because it's an act that requires a conversation, permission and consent prior to getting stuck in – a method that the BDSM community execute beautifully.

Listen to this episode of Sealed Section all about kinks right here. Post continues after podcast.

Why would someone have a praise kink?

People love to assume that any kinks, fetishes or sexual preferences must be rooted in some deep, unchecked trauma. That you would only be into something 'dirty' and 'derogatory' if you've gone through a cooked situation in your romantic past.

But it's time to chuck that notion in the bin. Because pleasure does not work like that, fam.

Every single person has their own erotic faves – the positions, the scenarios, the partners, the flavours they crave when they're getting intimate. And most of the time, these are completely random.

Sure there are stereotypes that suggest high-powered business owners love to visit dominatrix sex workers on the weekend to be controlled and punished because they've spent the working week running everything else, and having everyone saying yes to them. But that doesn't mean that every kink has a backstory.

So if you're assuming that those who will be into praise kinks are people who weren't complimented enough in their childhood, you're wrong.

But there is one community that worship kinks have been tied to: people pleasers.

People pleasers are supposedly way more likely to lean into a praise kink, mainly because they are seeking validation on the daily. Ironically though, because of their people-pleasing tendencies, they are chronically bad at accepting compliments in a praise kink scenario – making it very unsexy, very quickly.

How do I bring up my praise kink with a partner?

This advice applies to anything you want to bring up in the bedroom, because it's a foolproof way to bring up an idea without making it wholly obvious that you're very into it – giving you the perfect out if your partner/s recoil.

Simply waltz up to them and say, "Hey, so I saw this thing on TikTok..."

(See where we're going here?)

Here's the full 'bringing up a praise kink' script for you:

"Hey, so I saw this thing on TikTok about 'praise kinks', which I had never heard of before, have you? ... Anyway, I found it really interesting, and it's something I'd love to try out with you if you're interested? I think it could be really, really hot."

Usually what follows from here is a negotiation about what that explicitly means and clarity around what they are signing up to try. Either that or a very excited skip straight into the bedroom to give it a whirl!

If a partner reacts negatively or responds with disgust, it's time to reconsider if you want to be with someone who is so quick to yuck someone else's yum.

What are common praise kink phrases?

Alrighty! Now we're getting into the thick of it. So, you've established you want to try out a smidge of praise kinking – but what do you actually... say?

Here's a handy list of some excellent worship-kink phrases to roll out during your next romp.

"I am in awe of your body."

"No one has ever made me feel like this before."

"Your body is perfect for me.”

"Holy s**t, that feels amazing. How do you do this so well?!"

“You’re so damn good at that.”

“You’re so beautiful when you let go and give into your desires.”

“Those are such hot sounds. I am so turned on by hearing your voice.”

“You're doing so well for me.”

"F**k you drive me wild!"

Now you should have everything you need to give worship kinks a whirl! If you try it and it works a treat, do be a darling and let us know your thoughts in the comments – mainly so we can praise you right back.

Katie Stow is Mamamia's Sex Editor, and you can find more of her sexcapades here.

Feature Image: Getty, Canva + Mamamia.