Here’s a question for you: Would you pay someone $1750 to toilet train your toddler?
Now before you immediately answer ‘Hell no!’ – consider this:
This expert would come to your home. And what if they could get the job done in ONE day. ONE DAY, PEOPLE. No more pottys. No more following your toddler around the house saying, ‘Need to do a poo-poo, Sebastian?’ No more feet squealching into poo bombs hidden behind the couch.
Would you do it? Are you even just a little bit tempted?
I know what some of you are thinking. You’re thinking, ‘Oh my God the world has gone mad’. (While others thinking, ‘I’m in. Do they take EFTPOS?’)
But consider this: we already outsource so much more of our parenting than our own parents did. Babysitting, self-settling, breastfeeding advice, maths tutoring. We now have the luxury to access help. So is it so ridiculous that we’d pay an expert good money if they could guarantee to have our child toilet trained within a day or two?
I have to admit there is a part of me that wants every parent to have to go through this torture process, that this should be a parental rite of passage
Out of my three of my children, two were relatively easy to toilet-train. They were ‘day’ trained within a couple of weeks and dry at night within six. One though, the third boy, just DID NOT GET IT. Or couldn’t be bothered. Either way, we tried everything. Lollipop bribes, interpretive happy dances, the taking away of the lollipop bribes. Nothing seemed to work and we made the decision to give up for a while. He simply was just not ready. He did get there, I mean I’m yet to hear of a 12 year old who still needs a day nappy but at one stage, that was what I was seriously envisaging.
But in truth, had this toilet-training service been around back then, I think I may very well have seriously considered it.