Dear Retailers,
Last year I stood in the middle of an enormous shopping centre and cried.
And not the pretty kind of crying that consists of a single delicate tear slowly sliding down one cheek, a tear that can be easily hidden by a pair of glamourous sunglasses.
No, it was the other kind of crying. The one where your mouth trembles and your neck suddenly turns the colour of an overripe tomato.
It was the week before a big family wedding and I had finally found a formal dress that not only fit me, but one I liked enough that I didn't fantasise about it meeting a Carrie-style end and being doused with litres of pigs' blood.
Which, as any plus-size woman would know, is quite the feat given the state of clothing currently available to any woman in Australia above a size 16. Keeping in mind that once you start looking above a size 24, you might as well forget about it and just start fashioning your own clothes out of leaves.
This unicorn of a dress did require a few alterations, but when I arrived at the tailors to retrieve it, I was informed that not only was one of the changes unable to be made (something about it changing the structure of the dress too much) but there had also been a mistake made with another one of the alterations.
So now there was no way this dress was making its way to a winery wedding anytime in the foreseeable future.