No, your kids aren’t wasting time by playing.

Good news parents!

When I ask my son what he wants to do on any given day he usually says one of two things:

1. Go to the park.
2. Play with (insert friend’s name here).

I love watching him play with other kids mostly because he loves it and looks so happy running around. But I hadn’t turned my mind to whether it was beneficial for him. In fact, I always looked at those parents who scheduled lots of activities and directed their child’s play to be educational and thought ‘I should do more of that’.

But I never do, because I prefer watching my son play, explore and work out who he is without me telling him what we are doing and when. And (BIG SIGH OF RELIEF), it seems I am not dropping the ball parenting-wise yet, with recent studies showing how vital free play is for kids.

I had never thought of ‘play’ in such an analytical way before, but it turns out that when my son is trying to give another child a toy in a sly way to get him to drop the one he really wants, he is learning to ‘negotiate’ and ‘resolve conflicts’. And when he and his friend decide to dig a giant hole in the garden so that they both end up gleefully covered in dirt, they are exploring how to ‘work as a team’.

It turns out that all of the ‘playing’ my son is doing is expanding his mind, improving his coordination and encouraging physical activity — big brownie points to me, or possibly even a trophy of some kind?

I might hold off on building the trophy case for now though, as I do have my less-than-amazing days as a mum. I get busy and tired and often fall into the easy trap of just sitting back and hoping my child will entertain himself and when that doesn’t work I (too often) resort to the television.

As my child got older and more able to communicate his wants and needs I could see the direct correlation in his engagement and enjoyment in play when we did something new, compared to when we did the same-old, same-old at home. So I started exploring different types of play and this is what I’ve come up with.

1. Dress-ups.

Around his 2nd birthday my son and I did a fun collage project on an old nappy box and this became our ‘dress up box’. I put old necklaces, hats and handbags in and I invested in some funny masks, eye patches and other cheap and easy dress up ideas. I also started leaving some of my clothes at an easy access height and before I knew it my son was using my scarf as ‘wings’ and putting on my boots to stomp around like a dinosaur. We often have dress-up play dates where he and his friends explore the dress up box, try on my shoes and parade up and down the hall like a couple of stegosauruses on the loose.

2. Baking.

I love to bake and although baking with a small child can end up looking like a flour tornado descended upon your kitchen I continue to do it. We make everything from slices to cakes and savoury muffins and I explain each step along the way as we mix the batter. I let him lick the beaters while the cake cooks in the oven and he will help me decorate it once it has cooled.

He is learning to measure, to crack eggs, to stir and, most importantly, the work involved in the cooking process. Now my son loves to bake me an imaginary cake, mixing it, putting it in the oven, he even makes a ‘ding’ sound when the cake is done and he chops me an imaginary slice and hands it over proudly.

3. Frozen watercolour paints.

Making frozen watercolour paints is actually really easy, fun and not nearly as messy as normal watercolour painting – see you later unwanted spills.

All we do is grab an ice tray – if you can find it, my son loves dinosaur shaped ice cubes – fill with water, add a few drops of food colouring and stick in a recycled paddle pop stick. My son will choose the colour for the icecube and I show him how to mix that colour out of food colouring.

He has learnt that blue and red makes purple and blue and yellow make green and – less appealingly – that if you mix those two together, you get grey. Leave it in the freezer overnight and before you know it you’ll have a whole new set of (edible) watercolour paints for a quarter of the price – and hey, they’re perfect for all those stinking hot Aussie summer days to come.

4. Sand.

Yes, sand may get everywhere, but it is my son’s favourite thing to play with.  We dig together and make castles, bury fossils and he even pops some sand on a plastic plant saucer and tells me it is ‘dinner’. After showing an interest in dinosaurs I snuck out and buried a whole lot of things in the sandpit that would make interesting ‘discoveries’ and then after his nap we got brushes and buckets and carefully excavated the fossils one by one.

5. Water.

Kids love water, and while the changes of clothes can be annoying it is a great way to cool them down on a hot day and get some great exercise. It can also help them learn about how vital water is in a garden. My son and I water the garden together every few days, some plants I have had for a long time while others we planted together as seeds and have watered and watched them grow over a month or two.

One of our favourite water games is to get a range of different bucket sizes and fill a few up and then pour them into each other. We talk about the big bucket of water not fitting inside the small one and explore the reverse. And sometimes we just put the sprinkler on and run through it laughing.

There are clearly some crucial developmental areas being fostered during these activities with my son, but most importantly they give us the chance to play ‘together’. We get to learn from each other, understand each other better – and enjoy each other’s company.

What more could you ask for?

How do your kids play?