PARENT OPINION: 'We talk so much about the mental load, but there’s a physical one too.'

Call me naïve, but when my husband and I decided to try for our first baby, the mental load of everything that comes along with that and parenting itself, well, I hadn’t really thought much about it.

Fast forward ten years, I've come to realise that I probably should have. Because as any parent would know, everything that is involved in the role of parenting — from the pre-conception stage to postpartum and beyond — is a lot.

Now it’s lucky we love our kids, right? Without the extra meaning they bring to our lives, the never-ending, continually growing list of intangible tasks that are intertwined with parenting would feel... pointless.

You know, like the decision-making. Do I breastfeed? Bottle-feed? What daycare? What school? What period underwear? 

Or the organising. Do I have enough nappies? Have uniforms been washed? Have school forms been returned? What is on this week? What week is this week?

Yep, the mental load of parenting (especially as mothers), is downright tiring and sometimes even debilitating. But one thing that often gets overlooked is that connected to the mental load we bear, is a physical one, too.

For one, the constant running around and dropping kids off to various activities is time-consuming, energy sucking and frankly, often exhausting.

In my situation, my husband and I do our best to share the taxi driving and sideline supervision of our two daughters' extracurricular activities, but despite this, we still always seem to be on the go, sometimes until 8pm at night.

From swimming training, to roller skating and acting, to homework, nightly readers and any other surprise activity that comes up during the week. By Friday evening, we are so physically drained that we inevitably find ourselves falling asleep on the couch or bed (depending on the degree of exhaustion) by about 9pm.

By that point, that 'me' time we're told to prioritise is entirely impossible. And instead, I continue to pour from an empty cup over and over again.

It's almost as if there's a clear divide in what people tell parents they should to do (which is to look after ourselves), and the reality of what people expect you to do (which inevitably involves putting everyone else first, even if that means compromising your own health in the process). And it's not that we should, it just feels like as mothers, it's an expectation attached to the title.

We stop exercising, we eat on the run (or skip meals entirely), we hold our stress internally and don’t provide it with a healthy outlet. We grind our teeth, our muscles stiffen, and we even get tension headaches. It's no wonder that we become so physically run down we can no longer even come close to feeling like our best selves.

Untangling my own physical and mental loads from expectations and obligations, with things like better boundaries (and outsourcing) is a work in progress for me. More mindfulness around what I'm giving back to myself this year has been the priority with our girls getting older. Incremental changes, like using Hydralyte in the day, is definitely on my radar to consider. They're hydration-boosting, as dehydration so easily happens to parents when we continue to pour from that (very) empty cup.

Their new Hydralyte+ Plus Immunity helps support our immune systems to fight off illness (especially important when we're run down). It contains vitamin C, zinc and elderberry, so it not only maintains healthy immune system function, but can relieve symptoms of common colds and flu.

Hydralyte+ Plus Collagen is new too, and is developed with sustainably-sourced, hydrolysed marine collagen that helps supports skin hydration, healthy hair and nails, and helps improve skin elasticity and firmness.

Image: Supplied. 

Making the effort to carve out time for self care, not just the kind that helps my mind, but also my body is so important. But even during these moments, I know that there won't ever be a time that I ever stop worrying about something parenting or child related.

It's this constant worrying that makes the amount of time we spend speaking about the mental load no surprise. There's no denying it exists because it's always there. And even though the mental load is unrelenting, there is still something that needs to be said about the physical load of parenting, too.

Why? Because that physical tiredness also feels never-ending, and that mental load we speak so much about not only constantly takes up so much room in our mind that there's no space left for anything else, but it takes from our physical wellbeing too. 

Because as a mum you love your kids. You want to protect them and care for them. You want them to do their best, be good people and you want them to be happy and healthy. You will take them anywhere they want to go. You'll race around day after day for them, because you want the very best for them.

But while we stress and worry about our kids and prioritise our children's wellbeing and needs over our own to be a ‘good parent’, in reality, our own emotional and physical reserves are being depleted because simply put, we aren’t looking after ourselves.

There's something, however, that needs to be said about giving our kids the best of us too — not just the best of what the rest of the world has to offer.

Being a mum is wonderful, even when we are feeling the pressure of the physical and mental load, but it’s even better when our cups are full. After all, no one can really, actually, pour from an empty cup. 

Shop the new Hydralyte+ Plus Collagen and Hydralyte+ Plus Immunity at your local pharmacy.

Always read the label and follow the directions for use.

Feature Image: Supplied.