The curse of being a perfectionist.

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"I'm a perfectionist."

These three simple words roll off the tongue in countless conversations, whether they're uttered as a "fault" in a job interview, a humblebrag to describe a task done to exacting detail, or as a joke uttered to friends over a glass of wine.

I myself have sat across from a potential employer, palms sweaty, when they ask the dreaded question: "What's your biggest weakness?"

And I, thinking I was clever, would respond, "I'm a perfectionist. Sometimes I can get so focused on a task I forget to step back and can't see the wood from the trees."

It's giving hard worker with a poetic nature.

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What employer wouldn't want someone who cares deeply about quality and has high standards?

But without knowing it, I've fallen into a trap. A trap so many of us have.

Glibly stating you're a "perfectionist" is the go-to answer for anyone who wants to sound self-aware without actually revealing anything vulnerable.

This response has become so overused that it's lost all meaning — but worse, it might be glossing over behaviours psychologists are starting to learn more about.

Because true perfectionist behaviours exact a steep price on someone's life.

And your humblebrag may be doing more harm than good.

What we know about perfectionism.

Perfectionism is correlated with, and underlies, many mental health issues, including depression, anxiety and eating disorders.

Clinical psychologist, Eileen Seah, explained that while it's not a condition in its own right, there are three overarching areas of perfectionism; perfectionistic thinking, perfectionistic behaviours, as well as perfectionistic beliefs and approaches, towards emotions.

"Most of my clients come and see me for treatment of perfectionism and my PhD research is in the area of perfectionism," Seah told Mamamia.

"Often perfectionistic thinking revolves around being quite rigid, very rule-bound. All or nothing thinking tends to be quite common and there's a bias, or a slant, towards failure or not being good enough; seeing success and failure as quite defined and not having any grey areas in between."

Perfectionism is so much more than wanting things to be just perfect. Image: Getty.

Perfectionism encompasses much more than simply wanting things to be perfect.

"It's really this setting of exceedingly high standards and expectations. That striving for flawlessness and there's a tendency to be overly critical as well," Seah said.

"What we find is that perfectionists tend to have a self-worth that's contingent on pursuing and achieving these unrelenting standards.

"What is really not common, in terms of a lay person's understanding of perfectionistic behaviour, is that a lot of perfectionists also engage in avoidance behaviours, besides working themselves really hard.

"They avoid situations or tasks and experiences where people could judge them, or, if there's a risk of failure occurring.

"The examples would be things like procrastination or avoiding any display of their flaws, avoiding any vulnerability or being quite indecisive."

Seah said it's crucial that people start recognising there's a difference between pursuing excellence versus pursuing perfectionism.

"Perfectionism is basically trying to strive for something beyond what's attainable, and excellence is striving for high standards but also being very contextual and recognising limitations," Seah said, explaining that overuse of the word perfectionist places pressure on those with perfectionist tendencies.

"It's tough enough for a perfectionist to want to always strive for perfection, but this adds another layer to that insatiable need to be perfect.

"I think in the long run it's not helpful because it's setting up these very unhelpful dynamics of perfectionists perceiving that others are also expecting perfection from them, on top of their own unrelenting standards."

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The reality check.

Here's the uncomfortable truth: when many of us say we're perfectionists, we're either just trying to sound impressive, or, correlating it with a high-achieving nature, whilst avoiding real vulnerability.

I include myself in that assessment.

Whether I am a perfectionist or not remains to be seen. All I know is, whenever I've used the term to describe myself, I'm referring more to a high-achieving nature, not understanding the reality of what it's really like living with perfectionist tendencies.

As Seah pointed out, true perfectionism isn't about having high standards or caring about quality work — it's about being paralysed by the fear of making mistakes and never feeling satisfied with your efforts. In a workplace setting, these tendencies can actually hinder productivity and team collaboration.

So, it's high time to retire the perfectionist humblebrag from our vocabulary. We build a sense of resilience through making mistakes, not by avoiding them; perfectionists can often struggle with this aspect of professional growth.

In a world that values adaptability, resilience, and rapid iteration, the ability to embrace "good enough" and learn from mistakes might just be the perfect quality to highlight.

Feature image: Getty.