The Paula Joye Verdict: The Golden Globes Red Carpet.

Suddenly it’s Award Season.

Lena Dunham’s quit twitter, Katherine Heigl is curling her hair like she’s Heidi Klum and Catherine Zeta Jones looks nothing like Catherine Zeta Jones.

What happened to Christmas?

Last night, the 72nd Golden Globe Awards were held in Los Angeles and Tina Fey and Amy Poehler smashed it into a thousand pieces.

On the carpet, there was lots of red, lots of white and oddly a great deal of cobalt blue and supermodels.

Golden Globes 2015: Who cares about the awards? Here are all the frocks.

Red lips, side parts, nude nails…here’s a look at the best and worst for 2015.

Yum & Yummer.

Lupita Nyong’o looked gorgeous in Giambattista Valli, as did Kristin Wiig in a Michelle Pfieffer-esque Delphine Manivet gown.

Pretty, unexpected, cruisy – these are dresses you can actually imagine wearing. In real life. As opposed to fake life.

Also loved: Claire Danes in Valentino, Juilianne Moore in Givenchy, Diane Kruger in Emilia Wickstead, Robin Wright in Ralph Lauren and Dakota Johnson in liquid metal Chanel.

Special mention has to go to Miuccia Prada and her two Miu Miu muses – Maggie Gyllenhaal and Sienna Miller looked fresh, fashion and cool.

Welcome Back Potter.

Katie Holmes, I’ve been worried sick about you. For years.

Where had all that Dawson’s Creek twinkle gone?

Where did you leave it? Suri’s handbag? The space ship?

Tonight, I shall rest easy because you have high-kicked your way back to mojotown.

Your inner Joey has been successfully rebooted and it looks like she’s all grown up.

Now all we need is a Pacey.

Nobody Puts Indiana In the Corner.

Not even Ally McBeal.

Yes, there’s the Tatum’s, the Hemsworth’s, the Pitt’s, the McConaughey’s but there is also these two.

Hot.

Fine Like Good Wine.

Glorious, glorious and glorious.

Allison Janney, Helen Mirren and Christine Baranski are all such awesome examples of woman-ness.

I’d watch them eat their drive through after the awards. Or make toast.

Give me more of everything they do.

Cool Kids.

You’re young, hot and going to the Golden Globes. You dress:

a) like an extra from Gone With The Wind or the dance-off scene in Grease

b) a Disney Princess

c) in what Rachel Zoe tells you to wear. You die!

d) like the smoking, young star you are.

Emma Stone and Lorde didn’t just circle D, they put a highlighter pen and glitter glue all over it.

#finally

If You’re Going For Zany… Aim Higher.

Was Ashton Kutcher behind this dress?

I appreciate it is being worn in the spirit of irony and Kiera kookiness but it is neither of those things.

It’s like Hester Prynne and My Little Pony teamed up on a craft project.

Call me old fashioned but if you’re going to do zany then you need to take it to Bjork swan heights or Conchita Wurst at the supermarket.

Otherwise you’ll only over be Celine in a tuxedo jacket worn backwards.

With a butterfly strapped around your wrist.

The Clean Smudge.

Smudgy, sexy eyes and celebrities go together like peanut butter and chocolate. Everyone wants to be Elizabeth Taylor or J.Lo.

This year the smudge was refined with a precise line on the inner rim which brought something modern to this eye party.

Time to look at famous people on a red carpet again.

Alison Williams clean, black kohl look is very old Hollywood. The smudge is softer – fading to charcoal – making the inner line the crisp, classic hero.

This look is not restricted to black either – Reese Witherspoon used bronze and Kate Hudson was a gorgeous chocolate brown

Whack it on your ‘Looks To Try’ list.

Back To Pink.

It’s taken almost two decades (1999) for Gwyneth to brave pink on a red carpet once more.

If anyone can make this colour work over the age of five it’s The Paltrow.

She looks poured into this Michael Kors gown and every time I looked at this snap, Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend starts playing in my head.

Very modern Marilyn.

Also, I think it was taken in her house? Living for the floors, the couch and all the kids junk at the door.

White And Wrong.

There’s a difference you know.

On paper, white dresses are a red carpet no-brainer. Crisp, glittering white is a moment shade.

And yet, every year someone gets it terribly wrong.

Kate Hudson’s Versace is an example of white done right. Immaculately tailored, it shows just the right amount of flesh – the back was killer – and then she pulled it all together with chic hair and make-up and restrained jewellery.

Rosamund Pike on the other hand…why didn’t someone adjust the straps on this poor girls dress?

The tulle, the tummy cut-out – would it have killed them to give her a bracelet or a hand bag.

Honestly, it looks like she’s a stand in model for the person who actually bought the dress.

And that someone could be featured on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

Messy Ponytails.

My favourite up-style this year (every year) is the ponytail.

Sexy, fresh, flirty, modern – freaking easy to do yourself.

Tina Fey’s look was saved by her talent and a perfect ponytail. Let’s not speak of the dress because Tina is Tina.

But the best hair swish was from the awesome Chrissy Teegan who knows how to bring the supermodel when supermodel is required.

Still thinking about Tina’s dress? I know! Me too. Do you think she was protecting Lena?

Quick start singing John Legend songs to take your mind of it…All of me, wants all of you…

Bow Down B*&@*!$.

If you were an actress you could not get away with these long white gloves.

Not even if you were Julianne Moore or Diane Kruger.

Even if Tom Ford made them.

But Amal can get away with anything because she is Amal.

Queen of Clooney.

The gown – Dior couture – is as close to black perfection as it gets. Look how it’s tight but not Hollywood tight.

Amal only does royal tight. She can also explain what royal tight is. In Arabic.

Her hair is shampoo-ad effortless. The red lip and dark brows should be too much but on a Queen they are not.

They are just right. Like the Baby Bears porridge.

Perhaps it’s all that intelligence cutting through the froth that makes her magical?

Either way, I’m so glad she and her white clutch have arrived.

As undoubtedly everyone else on the red carpet is not.

RedHead Revival.

The world needed another Ava Gardner.

Sexy, funny, intelligent, modern Jessica Chastain and Amy Adams are both unconventional in their prettiness and that’s what makes them so hot.

Frank Sinatra is upstairs wishing he was still at the table every time walk by.

They are a packet of matches, a drawing, a chilli pepper…give me more of them.

WTF?

The biggest mystery of the night?

Why did Guiliana Rancic change her hair and make-up from this to THIS?

And For The LOLS.

Exhibit A: Tiziana Rocca. Never has a name suited a dress more. I bet she’s called Tizzy by her friends.

Exhibit B: Lana Del Ray. Am I alone or do you get a slight crazy eyes vibe from Lana? This dress is all the reasons sun-ray pleats should be illegal. Ditto hair extensions.

Exhibit C: Zosia Mamet. I feel like she really hates this dress. And is also wondering why she dyed her hair? Like, five years after the trend started? I feel like maybe she wanted to protect Lena?

This article was originally published on thejoye.com and has been republished with full permission. For more, follow The Joye on Facebook.