real life

'My partner left me for a colleague as I battled cancer. It's me who had the last laugh.'

As told to Ann DeGrey

I really can't believe the way my life has turned around so drastically – I've literally gone from heartache to joy so quickly. For the longest time, I thought my relationship with my husband Jack* was really solid. We had some problems, mostly due to us spending too much time apart because of our work. We were both travelling a fair amount, but we made sure that once a month we'd be in the same city together and have a romantic weekend.

Our sex life was pretty great, and we got on like a house on fire so I didn't foresee what was ahead for me. After all, lots of people have long-distance relationships, right?

But when I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer, I needed him more than ever. It was a hard time for me, physically and emotionally. My whole world felt like it was collapsing. Even then, Jack wasn't around as much as I needed. He was travelling, busy with meetings and conferences. I told myself it was his way of coping with the stress, but I couldn't help but feel a bit abandoned. Still, I didn't expect what came next.

Watch: Speaking of breast cancer, here's a quick how-to guide on checking your breasts. Post continues after video.


Mamamia.

Not long after I'd recovered from cancer treatment, Jack sat me down and said he wanted to talk. I thought it was just another conversation about his work trips, but his words nearly destroyed me. He told me he had fallen in love with a colleague from work, a young woman he'd been seeing for a while. He said they were happy together and that it was over between us.

I felt completely numb. How could he do this to me when I was still recovering? My body was healing, but my heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces. I didn't know how I would survive it. The idea of Jack being in love with someone else while I was still trying to piece my life back together was unbearable. I felt like everything I had believed in was a lie.

The first few weeks after he left were the hardest. I cried until I couldn't anymore, and I'd stare at my phone waiting for a message or a call from him, hoping that maybe it had all been a big mistake. But nothing came. He didn't love me, he loved her. I had to accept it. It was one of those times in life where you feel completely lost.

But slowly, with the help of my family and friends, I started to put myself back together. They were my lifeline during that time. They didn't let me wallow in my misery for long, pushing me to go out, try new things, and reclaim my life.

It was a night out with my friends that changed everything. They convinced me to go to a local bar one evening. I didn't feel like meeting anyone. But that night, I met someone who would turn my world around. His name was Mark*. He's 15 years older than me, but there was something about him that made me feel so happy again.

I found out he shared a love of mountain biking, something I'd always wanted to do more of but never had the time or energy for when I was with Jack. So our first date was a mountain bike ride and we've been inseparable ever since! I found myself drawn to his sense of adventure, and before I knew it, we were engaged. Every day with Mark felt like a reminder that there was still so much out there for me.

As for Jack? Well, karma has a funny way of coming back around. His relationship with that colleague didn't last long. Word got out that he had lost his house due to a gambling addiction he'd kept hidden from everyone, even me. She left him, and now he's crashing on friends' couches, barely able to keep his life together. It's sad, really. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but I can't help but feel that he's paying the price for his choices.

Meanwhile, I'm in a place I never thought I'd be. Mark and I are talking about retirement plans. He's got more than enough saved up, and we're even considering taking an extended trip through Europe and, of course, riding mountain bikes where we can.

I guess my story shows how funny how life works out sometimes. I was so broken just two years ago, thinking I'd lost everything. I thought Jack was the most important person in my life yet look what he did to me. Now, I'm on the verge of retiring in my late 40s, with a man who treats me like I deserve to be treated.

Looking back, I'm grateful for the heartache. It taught me to value myself and never settle for less than what I deserve. And for that, I wouldn't change a thing. I really feel so incredibly lucky and hope women who've been in my position, with all that heartache, just don't ever give up on love.

*Names have been changed due to privacy.

The author of this story is known to Mamamia and remained anonymous for privacy purposes.

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Feature image: Getty.

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