'My partner asked to borrow $2000 from me. How he spent it ended our relationship.'

As told to Ann DeGrey.

When I first met Adam*, he told me upfront that he was getting over a bad breakup. He said he'd been with his ex, Paula*, for three years, and that she'd left him for someone she worked with. He didn't go into too much detail, just said it had shaken him up, but he was ready to move on.

I remember asking him more than once if he still had feelings for her. He always said the same thing: "No, absolutely not. I'm done with that chapter."

Watch: Mamamia breaks down the awkward money question we've all quietly Googled. Post continues below.

I believed him; mostly because I wanted to.

But early on, I caught him messaging her. Just friendly chats, he said. Checking in. Asking how she was. When I said I wasn't comfortable with it, he brushed it off like it was no big deal.

"We were a big part of each other's lives," he said. He told me that just because it ended badly doesn't mean he hated her.

I didn't understand it. Why would you want to stay in touch with someone who broke your heart? Someone who left you for another man?

It didn't sit right with me, but I tried not to overthink it. I told myself I was being mature. That I wasn't going to be that jealous girlfriend who polices his messages.

For the most part, things were pretty good. Adam was warm, thoughtful and kind. He was fun to be around and also very attractive.

He didn't make much money as he was freelancing and between contracts. But I didn't mind. I had a steady job, and when he asked to borrow some money to get his car repaired, I said yes. He needed $2,000, but he promised he'd pay me back within a few months.

A couple of weeks later, I saw something on Instagram that made my stomach turn.

Paula had posted a photo of a bracelet; a beautiful, delicate piece from a jewellery brand I knew wasn't cheap. Her caption read:

"Thank you for the birthday surprise, A. You always knew my taste."

I read it three times. "A." That was Adam.

I clicked on his profile. He'd liked the post.

I didn't want to jump to conclusions, so I asked him about it directly that night — if he had bought Paula a birthday gift.

He admitted it right away but said he did it because he felt like it was a good way to get closure.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I reminded him that just a few weeks earlier he'd borrowed money from me; money I was counting on getting back.

Listen: Mamamia's podcast Everyone Has An Ex on what happens when love and money go wrong. Post continues below.

His response?

"You're being too emotional about this. It was just a kind gesture."

Too emotional? I was stunned. I wasn't even angry yet, I was just baffled. Who does that? Who borrows money from their current partner and then uses it to buy jewellery for the ex who dumped them?

The more I pressed him, the more defensive he got. He said I was "overreacting," that it wasn't about feelings, it was about closure and peace. That I was making this into something it wasn't.

But to me, it was simple. He crossed a line.

It wasn't just about the money, it was the fact that he still had space in his life for her, even after everything she did to him. He said he was over her, but his actions said something very different.

After a few days of tension, I told him I needed time to think. That's when he sent me a transfer for $300, part of the money he owed.

Well, that wasn't acceptable.

I realised something in those quiet days without him: I'd been making excuses for behaviour that made me uncomfortable from the start. The constant contact with Paula. The vague answers. The defensiveness.

I wanted to believe he was just being kind, that I was the one who needed to chill out.

We tried to have one more conversation over dinner, but everything he said felt vague and half-hearted. He didn't apologise. He just kept saying I was "taking it all too personally."

That was the moment I knew we were done.

We broke up the following week. He tried to soften it by saying maybe we were just "too different," which was true.

It's been a few months now. I never got the rest of the money back, and I doubt I will. But honestly, I'm okay with that.

What I lost in dollars, I gained in clarity.

I don't think Adam's a bad person. I think he's someone who still lives in the past — and maybe he always will.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Feature: Getty.