'Be brutal about your priorities.' 5 tips for how to "mum" when you're sick.

Last month, after nearly three years of dodging COVID like it’s my full-time job, it finally caught me. 

I was flat on my back for two days and then slowly, shakily; I returned to something resembling functional over the course of the next two weeks.

You know all those super helpful articles, doctors, and epidemiologists touting the importance of rest and a "slow return to normal activities" when it comes to COVID-19 recovery? Well, I’d like to know if any of those people, in their infinite wisdom, have young kids?

Because 'slow' isn’t in my toddler’s vocabulary and 'rest' is something I vaguely remember from a distant past where I didn’t have a tiny person that I created pointing at the fruit bowl, screaming "BANANA" at the top of his lungs, while already holding one.

While you're here, watch the Mamamia team confess to moments of parenting horror. Story continues after video.

It’s my firm belief that all parents are superheroes but parenting while sick takes things to a whole new level. Here’s what you can do to cope when your body decides to take itself offline but your kids still, rudely, need you to keep on mumming...

1. Make your sick cave a guilt-free zone.

"He’s been stuck inside all day, the poor thing must be so bored."

Midway through a phone call to my sister, I heard these words floating out of my mouth, as I watched my 18-month-old build and destroy his 75th Duplo tower for the afternoon. I had COVID, for Pete’s sake! I was in full survival mode and could barely eat anything, yet I was somehow worrying about my kid dying from boredom. 

Let me tell you, kids have limitless imaginations, zero responsibilities, and a whole world full of unfamiliar things to discover. A day, a week, even a month without perfectly tailored learning activities will do them no harm. In fact, it may even make them more adaptable. Repeat after me: there is no such thing as too much screen time when you’re unwell.

2. Tell your friends if you're struggling.

There’s very little that’s more isolating than being stuck at home with kids while feeling like warmed up death. The thing is, no one else will know you’re stewing in a germ-filled hellscape unless you tell them.

Don’t underestimate the hit your mental health can take while your physical health is on the fritz. Texts, voice notes and DMs from those who love you are a big boost for your mental wellbeing. 

When we’re sick, we’re naturally isolated from our community and parenting while sick can bring on a new level of loneliness. You can’t meet up at the park or the local pool to break up the day, and it can very quickly become very lonely. Reach out and let your community remind you that you’re not alone. 

3. Just say yes!

I will say, I’m usually very lucky to have support when I’m unwell, but this COVID thing is a different kind of beast. You can’t let anyone into your home, and since my son was also symptomatic, daycare was off the table. Because of this, anytime my family or friends made an offer to drop off a meal, a coffee, or a new activity for my toddler, I stifled my impulse to say "no, it’s okay, don’t trouble yourself" and I just said "yes". 

People who love you, love to be of help when you’re in need. Don’t overthink it and just let them. 

"Can I drop you off a meal?" Yes!

"Can I take the baby for a few hours while you rest?" Yes!

"Can I bring you a coffee and pastry in the morning?" Yes, yes, yes!

When you’re sick, and someone offers help in whatever form it comes - Just. Say. Yes.

4. Switch into survival mode and be brutal about your priorities.

Now is not the time to cook that meal for your friend who just had a baby, drop off clothes to the op-shop or agree to take on anything above the essentials at work. Pare back your life into only the essentials and then outsource some of those if you can. 

As parents, we’re used to saying yes to everything and figuring out how to manage it all later. But when your body is fighting an infection, the last thing it needs is for you to be running on fumes pretending things are business as usual.

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5. Treat yourself.

Oh, hey there superwoman! So, your sinuses are finally clearing, your brain is whirring back online, and you’re already plotting how to catch up on two weeks' worth of to-do lists? I know it’s tempting to jump straight back into it once you can stand upright again, but remember that you’ve just recovered from illness without adequate rest, so you need to take it slooooow.  

Book in some me-time the next day your little one’s in childcare or with the nanny or the grandparents and celebrate feeling well again by making sure you stay that way.

Hannah Vanderheide is a writer, actor, and voice artist with a beautiful baby boy. She's also a body-neutral trainer, eating disorder survivor, and wellness industry sceptic who loves to write about the sensible side of health.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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