"Just eat the f-ing banana." And other things you wish you could say to your fussy eater.

As I go into battle against my fussy eater daily, I feel a kinship with Madonna’s personal assistant.

There is only one thing to do when your child refuses to eat anything that you have made for them – keep your cool.

It’s what the professionals would do.

Because as our hard work and preparation is routinely thrown back in my face (or, more often, on the floor), by a pedantic 3-year-old, I imagine that this is what it’s like to work at the whim of one of the world’s most powerful dictators, or, let’s say – a megastar recording artist.

“That apple’s not organic. I can’t eat it.” (That’s Madonna)

“That biscuit is broken, I can’t eat.” (That’s my almost-3yo, Billy)

Listen to Holly and Andrew Daddo discuss fussy eaters, how to handle an overweight child, and confess their school holiday parenting nails and fails on This Glorious Mess, Mamamia’s parenting podcast (post continues after audio):

Listen in itunes.  Listen in Soundcloud. Open in a new window. Download the audio file to my computer.

“It’s hot, I can’t eat it.”

“It’s cold, I can’t eat it.”

“That vegetable is green, I can’t eat it.”

“It’ Tuesday, I can’t eat it.”

“That’s not the right plate, I can’t eat it.”

And on. And on. And on.

It’s an issue perfectly captured in this Instagram feed #mykidcanteatthis where frustrated parents share the ridiculous reasons that their children won’t eat their food. It’s gold.

Check it out, here (post continues after gallery):

Experts have many theories for how to beat a fussy eater, as dietician Kate DiPrima says on this week’s parenting podcast, you can let them play and kiss and smell different foods before you make them actually eat the thing, but sometimes, sometimes, we all just want to yell:

“Eat the damn banana. It’s just a f-ing banana!” Which, again, is probably exactly how Madonna’s PA feels on a daily basis.

Good luck out there, parents.

Do you have any tricks for getting your kids to eat things they don’t want to eat? 

And, by the way, if you have no idea what a podcast is, here’s an easy guide to downloading one – and below, the step by step video.

 

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