"The day I broke the golden rule of primary school."

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Sometimes, it really is better not to know.

Mia Freedman doesn’t offer parenting advice often. But when my daughter started kindy at the beginning of this year, she passed on one piece of – at the time incomprehensible – wisdom: ‘Never, ever look at what level Reader the other kids in your class are on.’

‘Ha.’ I thought. ‘Like that will ever be a problem.’

I thought my daughter was the best reader in her class. Every night we would read together and I would marvel at her speed and agility around words like HAT and CAT and SYRIAN CRISIS.

I imagined her under the golden hexagon of the Spelling Bee, slaying the other kids while maintaining excellent manners and sportmanship, while I silently and self-satisfiedly thanked her holy Goddess for bestowing such a gifted child upon me.

But then….. something terrible happened.

The wrong reader bag came home. You know, the special pouches that carry the kids’ reading books. They all look the same, and my daughter had grabbed the wrong one.

THE HORROR.

Because… the kid whose reader bag we had take was on another level. Actually, he/she was on about 10 more levels. TEN READING LEVELS ahead of my genius child.

Cue shattered dreams, lowered expectations, and an instant shame spiral: I spent all night plotting a step-up of our Reader Game in our house. It’s going to become serious business. We’re going to implement KPIs, and spend a session goal-setting, with a smart board, and graphs. ~~I am~~ My daughter is going to catch that kid by the end of the school year.

And then, it got worse, because I realised that if we had the Genius Child’s book bag, the Genius Child had my daughter’s book bag…

Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo, hostis of This Glorious Mess, sharing the Nails and Fails of parenting every week.

You can listen to the full episode, hosted by myself and Andrew Daddo here. Apart from identifying that I am a pretty average competitive parent, we also discuss whether or not you should ever carry your kids’ school bag, letting your kids watch The Bachelor (but, oh, the Heather heartbreak) and Lunchboxes as a competitive sport with the very, very funny Mandy Nolan.

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