'I paid to lose my virginity at 43. I didn’t expect this one thing to happen.'

Elena first laid eyes on Hudson in a hotel lobby, walked straight up to him and sat down.

"I was very nervous, but he made me feel at ease very quickly," the 43-year-old says, looking back at the night that changed her life forever.

"We had dinner, then went up to the room, chatted on the couch, then decided to have a bath together. Hudson undressed himself and undressed me. We kissed and touched, and talked some more. Then he whispered, 'When we get out of the bath, I'd love to go down on you'."

For Sydney-based Elena, this 'date' was an explosion of more than two decades of bottled-up sexual anticipation and tension.

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Raised in a devout Christian family, Elena spent her entire life following the faith and values that her parents had chosen for her, then adopting them for herself as an adult.

"There was zero dating until adulthood, that was the rule," she says.

"The expectation was also no sex before marriage. I was good with that for a long time because I thought I might get married by 30. But that didn't happen…"

In over 20 years, Elena experienced just a few short relationships that never continued past a couple of months.

"I was always firm with men that [sex] wasn't something I was going to do," she says.

"I was straightforward early on — and yes, it was probably a factor for some people, which I respect, but a few others were okay with it. I was mostly dating in Christian circles, so that made it a lot easier. But I still struggled with temptation. I was very disciplined with the situations I would and wouldn't put myself in. I never stayed overnight, went away, or hung out in bedrooms. I made sure there was kissing only, we wouldn't go any further."

Elena was in her late thirties when she started questioning how her values were suppressing the burning desires residing within her.

"I asked myself, 'Is this something I still believe in? Is it something I want to continue doing?'" she says.

"I've always felt like I have a pretty good sex drive, and the frustration of having nowhere to channel that can wear on a person. As I hit 40, I was like, 'Do I wait another decade?' I've been single for most of my life and it wasn't changing anytime soon. I still believed sex was a very powerful thing in marriage, but did that trump my desire as a sexual person? I came to a decision that it didn't."

Elena spent many months deliberating how she would choose to lose her virginity.

"I went through all the options in my head about having a one–night stand or having sex in a new relationship, but I didn't want to have regrets," she says.

"I wanted to be sure of the decision I was making and not find myself in a situation where the other party wasn't who I thought they would be, or there wasn't the follow-up that I thought there would be. It would have been nice for it to have been someone I was in love with, but I hadn't met anyone yet who I felt like that about and I was sick of waiting, and having that part of my life on hold."

So, last month, Elena made the brave decision to finally pop her cherry in a way her 30-year-old self would never have expected — by paying for sex.

"I had to get my head around it at first — I know how unconventional it is," she says.

"But doing it with [escort agency, Her Confidant] felt like it was more companionship. And I felt like it would be a safe space for me — with someone I wouldn't have to explain myself to or face any judgement from."

Elena paid $4,500 for a full overnight appointment with Hudson, a Her Confidant male escort in his early fifties.

"I didn't have any prerequisites about what they looked like, it was more about their personality and someone who could lead me, because it was my first experience," she says of choosing her first sexual partner.

As part of the agreement, Elena also covered the cost of the upmarket hotel, dinner and champagne — taking her overall spend to just over $5,000.

Despite Elena being a government employee on an average income, she had no qualms about outlaying such a large amount of money on one night of passion.

"I don't earn a lot, but I felt it in my bones that it was the best option."

And passion is exactly what she got — and so much more, many many times over.

"We had sex quite a few times and tried out some different positions, with some chatting and a bottle of champagne in between," she says coyly.

"We slept and then had sex again in the morning, which was great too. I was a little sore by that stage, but it was very slow and nice, then enthusiastic towards the end. Oh my goodness, Hudson's stamina. He's a deeply impressive man!"

As for Elena, her body coped with penetration far more 'comfortably' than even she expected.

"I was fine — more than fine, actually," she smiles.

"I didn't find it painful and didn't bleed. It helped that by that stage I was ultra turned on, and he helped me loosen up. He went slow to start off with and made sure I was ready. And I was SO ready. By that time, I was like, 'Yes, let's go!' He read the room very well and I didn't feel like my boundaries were pushed at all. It was done in such a dignity-filled and compassionate way.

"For Hudson, my virginity was just no thing at all. He was appropriately respectful and appreciative of the significance of it, but there was no social stigma attached to me being a 40-plus virgin."

Elena also appreciated the chance to pleasure a man in a setting where she wouldn't feel inadequate or used.

"He explained how he liked to be touched, which was really nice and confidence-building for me," she says.

"But I wasn't preoccupied with worrying about whether either of us had feelings for each other or not, because I was paying for it. I could just relax emotionally. He's a genuinely good man and it didn't feel transactional at all. I felt like he was there to go on a journey together and I felt so safe."

And the all-important question — did she reach the big 'O'?

"So many times," she smiles. "I lost count of how many orgasms I had. I felt so spoiled. I had great sex!"

So, was losing her virginity in this way ultimately a choice she doesn't regret now that it's a month down the line?

"Oh my God, it was better!" she says of her high expectations.

"I would choose that option again any day. There's no regret at all. I'm so thrilled with the decision that I made for myself."

In fact, it was so positively life-changing that Elena has since had a second overnight session with Hudson, paying $4,500 once again for hours of pleasure and companionship.

"I paid for a sexual experience both times, but that's not the lens I see it through," she says.

"What made it worth the money is the clarity of the boundaries, and the emotional and physical safety. If I find myself on a date with someone who I want to sleep with, I feel more confident in my own body and the male body to navigate that."

And dating is just what Elena is now doing in a very different way than before.

"Removing no sex before marriage has made things so much more open for me, and now I'm open to having casual sex," she says honestly.

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And while she's currently single, she's recently had her first non-escort-based sexual experience with a man she met on Tinder.

"I ended up having first-date sex and felt very confident about it," she says.

"It was great and I had fun without having to explain anything."

Was it just as good as Hudson?

"They were both great for different reasons, but Hudson is phenomenal," she smiles cheekily.

"The man knows what he's doing. My date did too, but it's a different dynamic."

While she's unashamedly enjoying her new lease on life, Elena is careful about revealing the changes she has made to her Christian-based inner circle.

"Some people know that I've changed my attitude towards sex before marriage, but only one person — my sister (who is married and devoutly Christian) — knows that I've had sex [with Hudson]. She took a minute to get her head around it, but she knows I'm not impulsive and has been so supportive of me," she says.

"This is a big thing in my life and I didn't want it to be cloaked in complete secrecy and shame, and it's liberating to be able to tell someone about a decision like this and how good you feel about it. But I know my audience and am aware that not everyone in my life would be on board with it. I don't want to taint a really beautiful experience for me with other people's judgement."

As for being a Christian, Elena has no plans on parting ways with her faith — but instead hopes her changing values can not be exclusive of each other.

"I still very much have my faith, but I've made a very different decision in terms of my celibacy," she says.

"I'm trying to find space for both to co-exist and it's still a work in progress. I know I can love God and also want sex in my life, and at the end of the day, it's between me and God."

There is no doubt in this courageous woman's mind that she has taken a life-affirming leap in the right direction.

"I'm no longer the kid at the grown-up's table," she says confidently.

"It's done wonders for my confidence on all levels and I'm so much more in touch with my womanhood and femininity. It feels very much like liberation, and I've found a part of myself that I kept a very tight lid on for a very long time and hadn't given room to breathe."

As for her next sexual encounter, that's still undecided — but regardless, she is determined it will be sooner rather than later. And she might just pay for it again.

"I feel ready to keep dipping my toes in the dating scene," she says.

"And I wouldn't rule out seeing Hudson again. Last time we talked about trying all these new things, but we ran out of time because we were too busy having sex!"

Feature image: Getty.