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My clitoris is currently on a break.
In the last seven days, it’s been fondled more times than a baby lamb at a petting zoo. If my clitoris were an iPhone, right now it’d be in planned obsolescence mode.
It’s an inevitable occupational hazard, when your job involves bounteous amounts of masturbation.
I’m not a sex worker per say, but I do use a lot of sex toys, and write about my experiences in exchange for money. I guess you could call me a ‘sexfluencer’ – think: Instagram Influencer, but, like, with dildos. Where most top beauty and fashion bloggers get paid serious cash in exchange for plugging a new lipstick or jumpsuit, I make a very comfortable living talking about sex toys on my feed.
And, contrary to popular opinion, I didn’t get into doing this because I’m a nympho. Like most women, I grew up fairly detached from my sexuality. I believed sex was a kind of currency women exchanged with men in return for commitment, and not something to be spoken about.
My vagina was a strange, foreign object I never dared look at, and masturbation felt immoral, like a secret betrayal of my relationship. As such, my solo orgasms were routinely followed by shame and self-flagellation.
This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, given we still culturally regard vaginas as dirty, and female masturbation as taboo. In a 2017 survey published in PLOS One, one in five women reported having never masturbated. Like, literally ever, in their lifetime. It might also explain why a large number of us also don’t even enjoy sex.