'I'm planning an overseas holiday without the kids. I don't feel guilty.'

When the opportunity to travel to a beautifully warm country to visit extended family came up, I felt giddy and then immediately guilty. 

The trip would be solo, leaving my husband and two kids at home without me. The holiday would also be far away; hours on a plane and not an inexpensive trip to take. 

My initial ‘yes,’ turned to a ‘maybe’ to an ‘I really shouldn’t,’ and then it spiralled into, ‘I have to go!’ 

In the midst of booking my 10-day trip, I changed my dates and extended it to two weeks. It hardly made sense to go for only one weekend after all. Now that the booking is complete, I’ve been thinking about my upcoming trip with nothing but excitement and validation. 

Here are the reasons I’m putting my 'mum guilt' away and leaning into a fabulous vacation and some time by myself while my family stays home.

1. I deserve it. 

I think most mums do. Like a lot of us, I carry most of the mental load of my family. I work full-time. I’m the default parent. I don’t make enough time for myself. I’m a good mum who (almost) always puts her family first. I’m also tired, and left feeling drained at the end of most weeks. I deserve some time to myself to relax and recharge and be a bit selfish.

There’s no doubt in my mind, I’ve earned a break.

Watch: Superwoman is dead. Post continues below.

2. My children’s father is a capable parent. 

It’s not like I’m leaving my kids with strangers. They’ll be with their dad who happens to be my husband and a very trustworthy caregiver. He’s a great cook, a good story reader, and he even had a brief experience as a househusband. It’s a great opportunity for him to run the show without me for a few weeks and for my kids to see that dad can look after them (almost) as well as Mum. 

Also, no one bats an eye when my husband travels alone and I hate a double standard.

3. I'm setting an example for my kids. 

I want my kids to prioritise self-care more than I do, especially if they become parents. Showing them that I deserve some time away to travel and visit with friends and family without them sets the precedent that holidays without the family are okay once in a while. 

I want my kids to see me leave them, stay in touch and come back again rested. They’ll learn that I don’t need to be in the same room putting them to bed every night to make them feel loved. They’ll see me being independent and hopefully, I’ll inspire them to be confident adventuring alone. 

Jenn on holiday alone. Image: Supplied.

4. Absence makes patience stronger. 

I’ve learned this in small chunks, so I can only imagine the bigger the absence, the more patient I’ll be. Taking time away from my kids who I love dearly, but who annoy me on a regular basis, fills my patience cup. 

When I’m away from them, I miss them. If I’m never away from them, they drive me mad. I think two weeks away should earn them at least a day or two of solid, uninterrupted maternal patience. 

5. I’m being responsible.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I’m not a reckless teenager running away. I am an almost 40-year-old woman who has budgeted, planned meticulously for time away from work, organised everything in my power during my absence and communicated with everyone who needs to be 'in the know'. I am taking time away in the most responsible fashion. I am going somewhere safe, connected to family. 

I’ve read the advice, and I will be in touch regularly. The only recklessness might be an extra cocktail and possibly sleeping late a few mornings. 

Listen to Mamamia's podcast for all things teenage, Help! I have a Teenager. Post continues below.

6. Rediscovering myself.

Almost seven years ago, when I became a mother, I had a huge identity shift that I’m still reeling from. I’ve had the odd girls' weekend away to remind me I’m still fun but I haven’t had any length of time to myself. I actually haven’t had time to think uninterrupted since my first baby arrived. I’m looking forward to rediscovering what it’s like to sit alone in a coffee shop with only myself to look after for the day. 

What did I enjoy doing when the only nap I had to worry about was my own? I’m about to find out as I take time to pause the mental to-do lists and let myself be present and self-centred. 

7. Boredom is refreshing.

I’m guilty of scrolling through pictures of my kids and missing them as soon as they’ve gone to bed. I wonder what to do with myself if I’m home alone for an hour without anyone to look after or entertain. 

I have no doubt that over two weeks alone I’ll get bored. I can’t wait. Boredom is where the best ideas are born, spontaneity takes over and the adventures start! 

Either that or I’ll take that nap. 

Feature Image: Supplied.