The longer you’re single, the more the dating pool feels like a game of musical chairs.
In the first round you’re surrounded by options and there’s a place for everyone. But, as time goes by, desperate singles are fighting it out to claim a spot in the relationship finals.
Chairs consistently disappear from the circle and the chances of being left without a place seem more likely.
Welcome to the world of the disappearing dating pool, a place where time is running out.
Or is it?
As a woman in the dating game Rachel called Mamamia’s Love Life podcast to seek real-talk advice from hosts Osher Günsberg and clinical psychologist Leanne Hall.
“I want to have kids but I’m 28, guys, and I’m on a time limit here. Do I sound desperate?…How do I get over the massive anxiety that I will never find anyone?”
It’s something Osher had to face himself, post-divorce.
“After I got divorced and started dating again I had to slap myself around the face because I would sit with every woman and be going ‘are you going to be my next ex-wife? Are you going to be the mother of my children?’ I would meet a Tinder date going ‘Am I going to end up marrying you?’”
The anxious feeling of time running out on a quest to date anyone who will say yes isn’t the best approach says Hall, “[Rachel’s] 28, she’s got potentially another 12 or 13 years before she needs to worry about the whole kid thing…she’s just being completely indiscriminate and being the opposite of being fussy…I reckon she’s casting the net a little bit too wide.”
Meanwhile, Günsberg launches a truth bomb about the common denominator in the revolving door of first dates.
“Rachel it’s you!…I’m sure you’re nice, you’re smart, you’ve got a great job and are not bad looking and are not crazy but something is happening here Rachel. Something is going on and in my experience, we can’t expect the world to change. We have to change ourselves.”